Disclaimer: None of this is true... it is all inside my head

Chapter 1

Frankie's Point Of View

Right tonight's the night. I'm telling her tonight. We've been on tour with them for months and I'm finally sure. Yeh, tonight I'm telling Marissa I'm in love with her. I wonder how she'll take it. This whole thing is driving me mad! Where is she? Fuck this place is packed. Why are these after show parties always so god damn full? I feel hands appear round my waist.

"Hey there sexy!" The girl giggles. I turn around. Its Nicole. She's in Marissa's band. Pity I'm not into her. I bat her hands away. She knows full well I don't like her. "Where's Marissa?" Her face falls. Then she walks away. Oh well I don't care. I have more important stuff to do.

This tour has been really good. Us, The Used and The Hopeless Hearts. I've been in love with Marissa since I first saw her. She's beautiful. Fuckin' beautiful. She's got this long black hair that falls down her back, these huge green eyes and the coolest dress sense. She's tiny. Even tinier than me. She sings in the band. She always wears baggy pants and the coolest shirts.

There's Gerard. He might have seen Marissa. I really need to find her before I lose my nerve. Maybe I should have a drink.

Gerard sees me and gives me a beer. He puts his arm around my shoulders. "Hey man! Having a good time?"

"Yeh! Dude have you seen Marissa?"

"Yeh yeh, she's with Quinn over there!" I turn to where Gerard is pointing and yes there's Marissa... ..with her tongue down Quinn's throat.

Fuck! Holy Shit! Marissa and Quinn?!?!?!

I can't tell her I love her now.

Quinn is sitting down with Marissa on his knee. She's got her hands in his hair and his hands are on the bare skin between her pants and her shirt. I can't take this. I need to get out of here.

Marissa's Point Of View

I can't believe this. Me and Quinn. Quinn Allman from The fuckin' Used. I used to sit at home and listen to The Used. This is crazy! I could never have even dreamed this! I'm so happy! I really like him. I've liked him from the start of this tour. I liked him even before that. The more I get to know about him the more I like.

I mean I've liked My Chemical Romance and The Used for such a long time, me and the girls are so lucky to be on this tour.

Oh god Quinn's hands are on my back. He's such a great kisser. I think I need to stop now. Its getting a bit heavy. We are in the middle of a party here. I unwrap myself from around him. I need a drink and some fresh air. I tell Quinn that I'll be back in a bit and I go and get a beer. I go outside and lean against the wall. It's dark and not that cold. I drink my beer and then I hear a noise. I go round the corner and see a boy sitting on the floor against the wall.

It's Frankie!

He's got his hands on his face and I think he's crying.

"Frankie!" I run over and crouch down next to him. He looks at me, tears in his eyes. He looks so sad, I wanna cry.

I put my arms around him and he seems to crumple in my arms. He buries his head into my chest and falls against me. He sobs.

"Shhhhh baby, don't cry," I stroke his head and rub his back. He is one of my best friends. I can't stand to see him like this. What could be causing this?

We stand up and I reach up and kiss his forehead. He isn't that much taller than me but I'm so tiny I always have to reach up to everyone. He lets go of me and turns away. I touch his arm.

"Frankie" he ignores me and begins to hurry down the path.

"Frankie!" I call but he doesn't even turn round.

Chapter 3

Frankie's Point Of View

Oh My God Marissa was not meant to be there last night. I'm sitting there crying like some absolute dick and she has to find me. When she put her arms around me I didn't know what to do. I couldn't hug her back because I would never have let go.

Why Quinn though? What's so great about him? Actually I can't be like this about him. He is like one of my best friends. He doesn't know how I feel about Marissa. It doesn't stop me being jealous as fuck though.

I have to go to practise in a minute but I just don't want too. I'm avoiding Marissa. I can't face her. What if she told the others? They will all want to know what's going on! This is gonna be bad. Although this all may not be as bad as I'm thinking it is. I mean who said Marissa and Quinn are now an item. They might just have been kissing. Quinn doesn't normally date people. He likes to play around. I know him. That will be it. It will have been a one off. I'm going to practise. I feel like playing guitar.

I get out of my bed and get dressed. I look at the clock. It's 12 o'clock. I go down to the practise room. Its only Bert, Quinn and Marissa in there. They're laughing. "Hey Frankie," Marissa smiles at me. I feel like crying again. I love her smile. "I'm trying to persuade Bert and Quinn to kiss each other!" Marissa laughs loudly. "Why?" I ask.

"Cos it's funny!" She's still laughing.

"Why should I do it?" Quinn asks her.

"Cos if you do you get a present," She giggles softly. She walks over to him and pulls his head towards hers. She kisses him. Oh no it wasn't just last night. I feel like my heart is breaking or something. God I'm such a fag!

"I don't mind kissing other people!" Marissa walks away from Quinn and over to me. "See," She says as she presses herself against me and kisses me. I stand there, I don't know what to do.

"Hey that's not the same!" Quinn protests. "Frankie is a guy!"

"Fine then don't do it!" She crosses her arms in a mock temper. Bert is staying quiet. I turn and look at him. He shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't care man! Dude we've done this before! You know it!" Ê

I think this whole Bert and Quinn thing has been forgotten because Marissa and Quinn are entwined again. I can't stay here with them. I turn out the door and walk back towards the tour bus.

Chapter 4

Marissa's Point Of View

Wow, me and Quinn have been together for like 2 months. The time hasn't half gone past quickly. I'm worried about Frankie though. I mean we used to talk a lot but he has hardly spoken to any of us for weeks. Everyone is worried. He just looks so sad all the time. I thought if he got together with Nicole he would be happier but he doesn't seem to wanna know her. Not that she's worried, Êshe's moved onto Mikey now. Gerard wants me to talk to Frankie. I don't know what I can say. I could try I guess but I dunno what to say. I can never talk to him at night, Êmost nights he just seems to drink himself into a stupor, then he goes to bed. I think I should try and talk to him now. Quinn and the guys are getting food so I think Frankie must be on the tour bus. I'll go and see. I knock on the door. Frankie comes and opens it. He looks at me. "Frankie I need to speak to you,"

He nods for me to come in and we sit on the sofa. He doesn't speak, he just keeps looking at me. I take his hand and hold it. I smile at him and he actually smiles back. We sit there just holding hands for a few minutes.

"Frankie we are all concerned about you, what's wrong? Please tell me,"

"Nothing is wrong, I'm just a bit run down from this tour that's all," Finally he speaks to me. I don't think that's it though.

"We've been friends for quite a while and I don't think that's it. Really you can tell me, Quinn and me... ." He takes his hand away and interrupts me.

"Look! I'm fine. Is everyone talking about me or something? There's fucking nothing wrong!" His voice is raised and his smile is gone.

I stand up.

"No we haven't been talking about you, we are worried. Quinn is worried most because you are his best friend!" He doesn't even look at me. Suddenly I think, have I done something? I feel like crying. I look at Frankie again and see the pain in his eyes. A tear begins to spill from my eyes.

"It's me isn't it? I've done something, I'm sorry Frankie please tell me what I've done so I can fix it. Please!"

He looks back at me now. He rushes over and hugs me.

"No! it's not you! Please don't cry, I'm telling you it's this tour! I'll be fine when its over I promise!"

He hugs me until I'm ok again and then I leave the bus. I'm still no closer to knowing what is wrong with Frankie. I hate this!

Chapter 5

Frankie's Point Of View

Marissa came to see me today. It was horrible. It was all ok until she mentioned Quinn. He is worried about me or something. I don't give a fuck. He hasn't been to fucking see me has he? Everyone is concerned or something. Whatever! Marissa started crying asking if everything is her fault and I felt like complete shit.

Marissa has been with Quinn now for 2 months. 2 months of complete and utter hell. It can't get much worse though I guess. Unless they get married or something. I fucking hope not!

I have tried so hard to get over Marissa. I mean they set me up with some girl Tara, but it didn't help. I wasn't into her at all. I'm not into anyone but Marissa. Well this tour ends in 2 more months and then I can go home and... and... I don't know what then.

Gerard's here.

"Look man we need to talk,"

Maybe I should tell him. We've been friends for a long time and I need to talk to someone.

"Yeh I know," I'm gonna tell him.

"I know Marissa has been to see you but I need to know what's wrong, don't give me any bullshit Frankie, Tell me," His tone is quite aggressive. He puts an arm around my shoulders. Ê

"I've been there dude, its never as bad as you think, come on," He sounds a lot more calm now.

"Ok," I take a deep breath. "I'll tell you, but only you, you can't tell anyone else," Gerard doesn't say anything. He looks at me.

"Ok I'm in love with Marissa and now she's with Quinn I don't know what to do, I can hardly speak to him anymore, I can't eat and I can't sleep and I don't know what to do," I feel so much better for saying that but now my eyes are filling with tears and I know I'm gonna cry.

Gerard looks at me. He seems to be thinking.

"I'm sorry I've been like this but what do I do? I'm so in love with her! I've never felt like this before." I cover my face with my hands. I hate people seeing me cry.

"Fucking Quinn! Why is he always at the centre of everything?" Gerard sounds angry. I don't say anything all I can do is cry.

"Right, I'm going to sort this out!"

"No! You can't tell anyone Gerard please!" I plead.

"No I'm not going to tell anyone, don't worry. I'm so glad you finally told me. We all thought we'd lost you for a while there," He gives me a hug. In a way things seem slightly better. I'm glad I told him.

"Now I've got things to sort out, see you later," Gerard pats my back and then he leaves. I lie down on my bed and close my eyes.

Chapter 6

Marissa's Point Of View

Everything seems a little bit better. Gerard talked to Frankie and he seems to be a little happier. There is still something wrong though. I asked Gerard what's going on but he won't tell me. He said it is Frankie's decision who he tells and he doesn't want to talk about it at the moment. I just really wish he trusted me enough to tell me. The tour ends in just a few weeks. I never want it to end. This has been the best time of my life! I can't believe in just a few weeks we will all be separating. What am I going to do without everyone. I am really going to miss Frankie. I know we have hardly spoken to each other the past month or 2 but he's just been going through a rough time but I know he is going to come through ok. What about Quinn and me? I really hope we don't split up. I love him so much. He is just so great to be with. We are so close and we do live near each other so it should work. Maybe I should talk to him. I don't want to have to go back to my apartment without him. Yeh, I need to talk to him to see what's going to happen with him. I wonder where he is. I'll go over to the bus.

There he is, skating with Jeph in the car park. He's just seen me and his eyes lit up. He is so adorable. God I love him too much. He's coming over.

"Marissa!" He runs over and lifts me up into a big hug. I breathe in his smell. He smells so nice.

"I need to talk to you," He says before I get a chance. We walk over to the grass and sit down under a tree.

"I've been thinking, this tour is going to end soon and well... what are we going to do about us?" God, is he a mind reader?

"Wow, I've been thinking exactly the same thing,"

We smile at each other. We are so alike at times.

"I don't want to go home alone, without you," I tell him. I look down at my hands. He takes my chin and lifts it up so I'm looking at him.

"I don't want to go home without you either, so I've been thinking," He kisses me and then he puts his hand in his pocket. He pulls out a small blue box. It's not what I think it is, is it? He opens it. I gasp. It is.

"Will you marry me?" I put my hands on my mouth. I stare at the ring. I look up at him and my eyes fill with tears. It's the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. Its white gold with one big diamond in the middle with pink jewels round it. I take the ring and put it on.

"Of course I will!" I fling my arms around him. We fall back into the grass and I kiss him. We stay lying there in the sun for a few minutes and then I sit up.

"We need to go and tell everyone!" I squeal. I pull him up.

"Come on!"

Chapter 7

Frankie's Point Of View

Everyone is hanging out and its actually kinda fun. I haven't hung out with the guys for ages and I've really missed this. I'm actually laughing! The girls in Marissa's band are really funny. Nicole is with Mikey now and I'm glad, she's finally stopped pestering me. I wonder where Marissa, Quinn and Jeph are?

"Hey Bert where are the others?" I ask.

"Quinn and Jeph were skating on the car park last time I saw them, dunno about Miss Marissa though,"

Marissa and Quinn haven't seemed as stuck to each as normal. Maybe Gerard sorted it like he said or maybe they're getting bored of each other.

"Hey guys," Jeph says as he walks through the doors. He walks over to Stacie. I think they're together now. God it seems like everyone is pairing up. I can hear voices down the corridor. It must be Marissa and Quinn. It is they come running through the door with big smiles on their faces. What are they so happy about?

"We've got great news," Quinn says, his stupid blonde fringe in his eyes.

"Yeh, we're getting married!" Marissa squeals and shows everyone her fingers where her shiny new engagement ring is sitting. The girls rush over to look at the ring and all hug each other and scream. Ê

I feel like I'm going to die. My worst nightmare being played out in front of me. I feel a huge lump in my throat. What am I going to do? I feel like I'm going to be sick. I am going to be sick. I run out of the room and go outside where I hide behind the trees. I hope nobody noticed me fucking off out of there. Probably not. They're all too busy with Marissa and Quinn.

I sit down and notice I'm crying again. All I fucking do these days is cry. God I'm so emo! ÊGerard promised me this would all be sorted. He fucking promised. Suddenly I hear a voice. Its Gerard. I don't answer but he knows I'm here. Ê

"Hey I'm sorry," He says.

"You promised me! You fucking promised me you would fucking sort it!" I say angrily through my tears.

He looks sorry. He scratches the back of his neck nervously. He looks up and then back down at me.

"I am sorry, this time it is getting sorted," He doesn't say anything else before he walks away from me.

Chapter 8

Gerard's Point Of View

I feel fucking awful. I promised Frankie that everything would be sorted out and then Quinn and Marissa announce that they're getting married. I feel so bad for Frankie. He's broken hearted and it's never happened top him before. I mean most of us have been there but not him. He doesn't normally get involved like this. It's normally Frankie leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. Maybe I should talk to Quinn. I don't have to tell him who is in love with Marissa, but he might listen. Actually there he is. Alone.

"Quinn, hey Quinn," I call out. He turns and looks. He smiles and waves.

"Hey Gerard," He is very happy. I feel kinda bad about having to say this. Kinda. "Look I need to talk to you about something," We walk around the corner where its quieter. Ê

"Look I know you love Marissa but... ," I don't really know how to put this to him. I mean what do I say? He watches me. His smile has faded.

"I don't really know how to say this to you... someone else is in love with her and you marrying her is going to kill them," I breathe out. It wasn't the best way of putting it but what can I do? Ê

Quinn sits there, he frowns and looks at me. He looks annoyed.

"It's not you is it?" Ê

"Of course not!" I'm outraged he would think it's me. Marissa isn't my type at all! "Well who is it then?"

"I can't tell you,"

"You are basically asking me not to marry the girl I'm in love with! I think I have a right to know!" Quinn's voice is raised.

"Calm down!" I tell him. "Look I promised this person, I can't tell you, anyway, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that they are one of your friends and it is seriously going to cut them up if you marry Marissa!" I'm annoyed now because Quinn doesn't seem to care at all. It seems I'm right.

"Well that's just tough isn't it. No real friend of mine would ask me not to marry the girl I'm in love with just because he's got a crush on her," Quinn begins to walk away.

"Sorry Gerard but I'm marrying Marissa and I don't care what anyone else wants," Then he walked off.

What a bastard! I've never liked Quinn. Stupid motherfucker. Well it looks like there's only on way to sort this and it won't be pretty.

Chapter 9

Frankie's Point Of View

Thank fuck the tour finishes tonight. I do love performing, the way the crowd sing your songs back to you, people acknowledging your talent. I fucking love all that but I hate the way I've been feeling. Maybe if I go home and don't see Marissa I can get over her. I still hate the thought of her and Quinn being together all the time. I mean he is my best friend how can I see him when he will always be with Marissa. Oh no, I've just thought. What if they move into Quinn's place? He lives like 5 minutes away from me. Oh they are definitely gonna move into his place. He lives in a house alone and she lives in an apartment. Oh fuck! This is going to be really hard! I've got practise in a bit. I've been hanging out with Bert a lot recently. I think he feels a bit left out now Jeph is with Stacie. They used to be together a lot but like Quinn, Jeph is with Stacie all the time now. Branden hangs out with Ray a lot and Bob and Gerard are just around. The girls from The Hopeless Hearts, Alex and Maddy are just always together. Alex is really quiet and Maddy just flirts with everyone. She is funny though. I'm hanging out with Alex today. We sit and be quiet together. Its cool. I actually quite like her. We talk about guitars a lot. She has plays in the band. She's coming over to our bus in a bit. Here she is. She smiles at me as I open the door for her. I've never really noticed before but she's really pretty. She's got long red hair. Not orange red, like scarlet red. She's got black combats and a green shirt on. We sit in the sofa and I put music on. We sit quietly next to each other and don't speak. The silence is comfortable.

A thought crosses my mind. I wonder if she likes me? I could find out. I don't know whether too. If she likes me I might start to feel better. Yeh, I'm gonna kiss her and see what happens.

"Alex?" She turns and looks at me.

I move in closer and kiss her. She doesn't pull away. She's kissing me back! I feel a jolt through my stomach. What does this mean?

When the kiss finishes. I look at Alex. She smiles shyly at me and then looks away. Her long hair covers her face. She starts to sing along with the cd. She has a beautiful singing voice. Better than Marissa. I stare at her for a little bit longer. She doesn't notice. I suddenly feel different. Like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I feel... ..happy. I'd forgotten what happiness feels like. I look at the clock. Its time for sound check. Alex knows as well. He walk to the door and before I open it I turn to her and kiss her again. She wraps her arms round my neck and plays with my hair. Finally I feel happy. I am still in love with Marissa. I still feel like shit over Marissa and Quinn but Alex could help me.

Chapter 10

Marissa's Point Of View

Tonight's show was fucking amazing although I felt a bit sick all the way through. This party is really rocking. Everyone is really happy. Frankie actually looked happy for the first time in months! I need to find Quinn now though there's something I need to talk to him about. Ê

I'm pulling him outside. We need to be somewhere quiet.

"Quinn we need to talk," I'm trying to be serious but its hard cos Quinn is tickling me. I start to giggle.

Quinn pulls me closer to him and looks down at me. I start to laugh softly. I look up at him.

"No seriously I need to tell you something," I'm gonna just tell him. Suddenly a noise disrupts us. We break apart.

"What was that?"

A guy with a hood appears around the corner. I can't see his face. I cower behind Quinn.

"Hey!" Quinn calls out to him. The guy runs towards us. It all seems to happen in slow motion. He punches Quinn in the stomach and runs past. Quinn doubles over and falls to the floor while I shout after the guy.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He doesn't listen.

"Quinn? You ok? What was his problem?" I look after the man. Quinn doesn't reply. "Quinn?" I crouch down next to him. "Quinn are you ok? Did he hit you that hard?" Quinn finally looks up at me. He moves his hand from his stomach. He's covered in blood. I gasp.

"Oh my god!" I take his hand and I start to cry. "Quinn!"

Frankie and Alex appear round the corner. They see Quinn and they look at me.

"Go and get help!" I shout. Alex turns and runs back round the corner. Frankie rushes over and falls at Quinn's side. He grabs Quinn's hand. Quinn looks up at him. His eyes look heavy.

"Hey man," His breathing is starting to get heavier. Frankie squeezes his hand.

"Hang in there Quinn, you gotta hang in there," Frankie starts to cry.

"So... .what... was..this..thing..you..had..to..tell... me?" I need to tell him.

"Quinn, I'm pregnant," He looks at me. He smiles. My heart starts to break.

"That's... fucking great!" He tries to smile again but it turns into a grimace of pain. Its getting harder for him to speak now.

Frankie is sobbing his heart out.

"Quinn I'm so fucking sorry, so sorry, I fucking love you man," I start to cry harder at the realisation that Quinn is dying in front of me. I double over him and sob as well. His eyes start to close and he stops speaking.

"Quinn!" Frankie shouts but his eyes don't open. Suddenly I hear people.

"Move out of the way, excuse me miss," The doctors surround Quinn and me and Frankie step back. I clutch onto him and he holds me tight. I can hardly breathe, my knees are buckling underneath me and I want to throw up. I want to go over to Quinn. I don't like being so far away. I try to push through but Frankie holds me back.

"Quinn!" I call out, "Quinn I'm here baby, I love you,"

The doctor turns and looks at me.

"I'm sorry miss, there's nothing we could do, he lost a lot of blood.... " I stop listening. My whole body feels numb. Completely numb. I turn around and throw up into the bushes.

Everyone seems to be around. Trying to hold me or crying. I can't take this. I can't stay here. I turn around and start to run. I don't know where I'm running too... .just away from here.

Chapter 11

Frankie's Point Of View

Oh my god. I cannot believe what has happened. Quinn, my best friend is dead. He was murdered. I... I... I don't even know how I feel. I'm lying here with my arms wrapped around Marissa and I'm not happy because we're together, I want to fucking kill myself because I feel bad.

Quinn's death was nothing to do with me but I feel sooo bad because I've hardly spoken to him for months all because of a girl. A beautiful girl who is now pregnant and practically suicidal. She's pregnant. This baby isn't going to have a daddy. I'm really hoping that this whole thing didn't have anything to do with Gerard. I mean if it is something to do with him I am practically responsible. Gerard said he would sort it. Well it's sure as hell sorted now isn't it? Ê

Hell, me and Marissa are still crying. She can hardly breathe or anything. I'm trying to soothe her but I'm still pretty upset myself. She needs someone else here. Someone stronger than me. She needs her friends. I need someone. Anyone. I'm trying to calm Marissa down now. She's crying that hard she's going to throw up. If she throws up anymore I don't know what will happen to her. Ê

Alex and Mikey are here. They say the police want to speak to Marissa. I don't know if she's up to it. Alex takes Marissa and Mikey comes over to me. He opens his arms to me and I fall onto him. Normally I wouldn't wanna be this close to a guy, I get called gay enough, but I need someone. He rubs my back and tells me its ok. I'm trying to steady my breathing. I need to get a hold of myself. Breathe in. Come on now Frankie, get a hold of yourself. Breathe out. Poor Marissa. All this stress can't be good for her baby surely. It's early days as well isn't it? I suddenly panic. I'm trying to talk but my words don't seem to be coming out right.

"Shhh Frankie, it doesn't matter. Lie down, go to sleep," Mikey says quietly.

"I can't sleep until I know Marissa is ok," I say.

The door opens and Alex brings Marissa back in.

"She's not up to speaking to the police, it's not good for her, not with the baby as well,"

"Come here baby," I tell her.

She runs over to me and falls on top of me. We lie down. I've stopped crying. Marissa's crying is quieter and more controlled now. She is breathing normally and only now and then she lets out a sob. Mikey and Alex leave us and I hold Marissa close as we fall asleep.

Chapter 12

Gerard's Point Of View

God, it's fucking mental round here tonight. So Quinn was killed. He was a motherfucker anyway. I mean I'm pretending to be upset but to be quite honest I don't give a shit!

I don't feel guilty cos it wasn't me but I didn't say it didn't have anything to do with me though did I?

Yeh so I set it all up but Quinn had it coming too him. Nobody knows that I hired that guy. No one is gonna know either. I feel kinda bad for Frankie and Marissa. Quinn was his best friend I guess, but not a good one! I mean where was he when Frankie was breaking his heart crying to me? Ê

Marissa is a sweet kid but eventually Quinn would have fucked off on her. That's what he does. Finds some young, sweet, beautiful thing, makes her fall head over heels for him and then they catch him in bed with their best friend. That's the way it's always been. Quinn was so dumb he probably thought this was it but he would have been bored of her in a few months.

Although I guess he might have stuck around a little longer this time, with there being a baby and all.

But with this arrangement its all good for Frankie isn't it. So far they've stuck together. Sure, Marissa might need a little time to get over it but when she is Frankie is there! He would be a great dad to that kid.

Yeh everything is better this way... .everything is gonna work out just fine...