Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, don't sue.

***

I light up another cigarette and blow the smoke towards the ceiling. Take a deep breath and try to let it out. damn cancer sticks. I hate not being able to catch my breath.

Cigarettes really aren't the only thing that take my breath away, though. It's worse when he walks in the room. He's so damn perfect. I wish I could say he's "my Gee", but he's just my bandmate... that's just a dream. What do you do when you're a straight guy madly in love with a guy who'd rather fuck a man whore like Davey? (authors note: that's the first guy that came to mind...)

Yea, my point exactly. Anyway, there's this big party tonight, things can't stay this way. It's gotta go one way or the other. Thank god I'm not straightedge.

11 pm -- Party

"Hey Frank, over here!" Gee's beautiful voice runs through and through my head.

"Coming, Gee" God why can't that be literally?

Gee pulls me into a tight hug and hands me a beer. We listen to some music, get a nice buzz, you know, the average party bullshit.

I see the most gorgeous guy dancing on the floor, I pull a little close and notice that blonde do. It's Quinn! Damn that boy got moves. He pulls me close. "is he gay?! no..yes..no..AHH" I don't know, what does this mean. We pull closer and began to dance.

We pull apart and look into each other's eyes. "Fuck, Quinn, you look great." ..shit I didn't mean to say that. "Thanks, Frank, you do too. Let me get you another drink." He returns and walks me to the quiet corner.

"Are you guys playing tonight?" I ask.

"Fuck no, Bert's at home sick anyway." He replies.

Five minutes of awkward silence pass before he looks at me and asks, "Do you uh... wanna go outside?" We sit under a tree and look up at the moon. He wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me close. Our lips lock and we kiss for what seems like hours. He pulls away and looks at me. I return his stare the best I can.

"What does this mean?" I don't mean for my voice to sound as shaky as it does.

"What do you think it means?" His reply his hinted with a small smile and blush. "I don't know..." I trail off, I can't help myself.

"I'm with Bert, but I think I'm in love with you." I know he's talking to me, but his eyes are at the sky. we lay down into the grass. The stars look so beautiful tonight.

"Don't you love how beautiful the stars look on a cloudless night?" He asks me, I swear he can read my mind. I lay my head on his chest. Falling asleep under the moonlight.

I wake up to a slobbery tongue running up and down my cheek.

"Quinn, Quinn.. baby, stop it." My voice is hoarse, my head is throbbing, and my chest hurts to breath. I roll over to return the gesture, but all I get is a handful of fur. "Damn dog, get out of here!" Ouch, yelling like that hurts so bad.

"So who's the mysterious Quinn... who's the lucky girl this time?" Gee asks. He's such a tease.

"Just some girl." I reply.

"Really? I could have sworn I saw you and Bert's Boyfriend/guitarist having a damn good time."

"Fuck. Busted." I moan. Let's just say all my witty responses are lost within the pounding of my brain.

"Were you that wasted to make out with someone else's man?"

"Gee, can we do this later, please?" I give him the look that he knows he can never say 'no' to.

"Fine, Frank, but I expect details later" he walks out. When did he become my father?

I start coughing again. It won't stop. My chest feels like it's on fire and my mind seems disjointed in a jigsaw puzzle. The ceiling turns into a canvas of stars and I pass out. I wake up again, 6 hours later. My chest still hurts, and stains from puke lay on the floor beside me. I try to stand but my knees buckle and I return to the bed. I pass back out and don't wake up.

I open my eyes. The light is bright. So bright. It hurts my eyes. Everyone standing around me, saying my name, asking questions, they all seem so loud. it hurts my ears...

WHERE THE HELL AM I?!

My breathing is choppy and it burns to take air into my lungs. I wake up again, the lights are turned off and Gee is laying beside me. I roll over and put my head on his chest. He smells so good.

He opens his eyes and looks down at me. "Frank.." Gee starts his statement then closes his eyes tight to hold back the tears. I open my mouth to start my statement, to apologize, to say anything, but Gee pulls his finger up to my lips and stops me. He pushes my matted hair out of my eyes and starts singing...his voice...

I close my eyes and fall back to another dreamless slumber.

I wake up again and Gee's sitting beside me, his fingers intertwined with mine, and this feels all too right.

"Gee..what happened?" I sound like a little kid again.

"You're in the hospital...you must of been allergic to whatever Quinn slipped you." His eyes are so full of concern. "Frank..we almost lost you.." I can't stand to see him cry like this.

"Gee, I think I love you." I say, looking deep into his eyes.

"You have no clue how long I've waited to hear you say that" He replies.

*2 weeks later*

(Gee's POV)

"I'm expecting to wake up next to you..." I write...Fuck that's so horrible. I pull my knees up to my chest and push the hair out of my eyes. I'd give my life to be with him for just 10 more minutes. If I had been with him instead of letting him get drunk with Quinn at that party... so many 'what ifs'.

I swear I see his face flash across the wall... 'My Frank.' ...now that's just a memory.

(Mikey's POV)

I'm starting to wonder if Gee's ever going to be back to normal. I look through the glass, he's still sitting there with his knees pulled up to his chest. I walk into to bathroom and put my arm around his shoulder. "Mikey..I saw him, he was on the wall.. My Frank." He says to me. I hope he doesn't really believe this. "Gee, Frank's gone.." I hate breaking my big brother's heart..again. He leans into me and sobs onto my shoulder. I kiss his forehead and walk out of the room. It breaks my heart to see him in so much grief. I sit on the couch and turn the television on, it's still plastered all over the fuckin' media. Dammit. Dying of "unknown causes". bullshit. Quinn should be in jail for this shit. His word against ours...

The phone rings.

"Hey... Mikey?" it's our manager.

"Yea, what's up?"

"We found a suitable guitarist." He says.

"Great..um..are you sure it's not too soon?" I ask.

"Not if you ever want a new record" He replies, he's acting like this was nothing.

"Okay...I'll get the guys around" I say, feigning excitement.

*Later that day*

(Ray's POV)

"Shit, why are we doing this? We can pull it off with one guitar." I'm trying not to shout at him, but it's becoming so hard. "...We can't just replace him like this, it isn't right." I continue.

"I know...I know, But Jon won't stand for that." Mikey replies.

Shit. I don't see the point in this.

"Hey." I hear an unfamiliar voice and turn around to reply.

"Oh..you must be the new guy." Damn, I better try to be nice.

"Um, yea, the name's Kris." He says.

"Nice to meet you." I'm trying to stay civil.

He's tall, and slender. Wearing a blue [i]The Movielife[/i] shirt and a black [i]Silverstein[/i] jacket, and jeans. Your typical scenester hair cut, red and green highlights. Green eyes, and the kind of facial feature girls and guys die for.

"Nice to meet you, Kris, name's Mikey." Mikey says.

"Nice to meet you too." Kris replies. They're smiling and you can see the sparks fly.

*Hours Later*

(Kris' POV)

They act like they don't want me there. I wonder if they'll change. I haven't really met Gerard yet, I'm not sure I'm ready to. I think telling him I'm a huge fan would be a mistake.

I get to my apartment and Jamie is sitting on the couch.

"How'd you get in?" I say.

"You gave me a key, remember?" She replies.

"Oh..yea." I don't know what to say.

She gets up and walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck. I push her away.

"Why all the animosity?" she asks.

"You slept with another man!" I almost yell.

She walks out and slams the door. I plug in my guitar and just let the songs flow. Ray gave me a bunch of tabulature to learn, music is all I have left. I hope they see that.

(Gee's POV)

My eyes jolt open. Is that a sign I'm alive? My whole body aches, anything would be better then this. Anything. Reality hits me hard once again. I'm alone... a - fucking - lone. I'll always be alone. Ugh. I sit up, blood from last night stains my sheets. I hear music. Sounds like the guys are practicing again. "Vampires Will Never Hurt You." They sound so good. Absolutely perfect. Except there's two guitars, was it all a dream? I jump up, and run down stairs hoping to see My Frank's beautiful face.

My mouth drops open. "Who...who...who are you?" I stutter at this unfamiliar stranger.

"I'm..." He starts.

"Gee, this is Kris, the new guitarist." Mikey cuts him off.

"We don't need a new guitarist." I say.

"That's what we all think, but Jon disagrees." Ray pipes up.

"Well, fuck Jon." I say.

"I think I should, uh leave, or something." Kris says, and practically runs to the door.

"Don't come back!" I yell.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I ask mikey.

"I'm the guy trying to hold this band together." He replies.

I got upstairs and lay back down. What am I going to do?

(Kris' POV)

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" I shout. I don't care who hears me at this point. They're going to kick me out of the band. I know it. I sink into my couch. All this, all this bullshit, just to chase a dream. I haven't eaten in days. No food. I barely have the money to shower. Fuck. No wonder Jamie wants to sleep around with the big shots. Who doesn't want money? The phone rings. I didn't know it was even still connected.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey." Mikey greets me.

"Oh..." I reply.

"Sorry about earlier. Gee's still kinda down." He tells me.

"Okay, when...uh, where should we meet since I'm not longer aloud in your house." I add a sarcastic laugh.

"Come on over tonight." He says.

"see you then." I reply and hang up.

(Ray's POV)

"Kris, hold that note longer and let it ring." I tell him. this kid is good, he nails it. I can see why Mikey likes him. Damn my straightness. You can only play the same song so many times without a singer...Gee still won't come down, though. I'm starting to wonder if he's ever going to become unexiled...I miss him.

(Kris' POV)

I have my head rested on mikey's bare chest...why...I mean how can this feel so right? I've never felt this way about anyone. Let alone another guy. I look him in his eyes. I never realized how beautiful his eyes are until now.

"Mike, you're perfect..." I whisper to him.

He pulls me tigher and brushes the hair out of my eyes. "so are you, baby" he says to me.

(Gee's POV)

"Morning, baby." I say.

She smiles and looks at me.

"I'm so glad it's just me and you now." Jamie replies.

"What do you mean now?" I inquire.

"I had a boyfriend before...but we're over now." she says, so softly I can bearly hear her.

God I can't take this.

Mikey walks in, followed by Kris. "Gee..come practice with us..please?" he begs.

"Give me a minute, mike." I reply.

Kris' eyes are wide.

"Jamie!?" He asks.

"Yea.." She replies.

"We're over for good." he tells her.

"Wait, he's your boyfriend?!" I yell.

"Ex." she corrrects me.

Kris and mike walk out of the room. she looks at me again.

"I couldn't help it, I'm in love with you." she says.

"I think I love you too." I reply. I circle my arms around waist and she digs her face into my neck. Things feel right. Finally. I'm finally happy.

(Kris' POV)

Right now, in this moment, laying with my head rested on mike's chest, things feel right. I've been looking for so long, I can finally forget my hopes and dreams. I can just lay here, and I know, things are perfect.

END. (I promise)