Disclaimer: I own the character of Tawney Smith. In no way, shape or form do I own or no Mikey Way. So don't sue.

***

"Best friends forever???"

"Best friends forever" I said as i took the scissor and made a small incision in my left wrist and your right wrist. We were only 6 at the time, but we thought that becoming blood brother and sister would be the coolest thing. Back then Mikey, ever since we were 4, you were my everything.

People called us twins we were so close. Locked at the hip. Nothing would tear us apart. Except for our families. Mikey Way, son of John and Martha Way, of the Way department store, friends with Tawney Smith, daughter of Robert and Amelia Smith, fucked up druggies and alcoholics? No way. School was our haven, where we could sit together and talk, mainly about stupid little kid stuff. I could NEVER go over to your house, and if I was seen there, your parents would tell your driver to take me home. Only the best for their little Micheal.

I was the one who was there for you when we were 7 and you fell off the monkey bars. I sat on your back porch for hours while your family and you were at the hospital, getting you stitched up. When you came home you had 7 stiches on your chin.

"Seven just isn't my lucky number?"

"Guess not" I said as I wrapped my skinny arms around your body.

--

When we were 14 when things changed, some for the better, some for the worst. 14 was the age of my first kiss, the age of your first girlfriend, and ex-girlfriend. 14 was the age where we snuck out at 2 o clock in the morning and sat under the old oak tree in the park and you watched me cry because my dad had left me and my mom all alone in the shithole apartment that we live in. Off to California, he said. You were there for me Mikey, forever and always. That night, we made a promise. A promise that no matter what happened, we would always keep in touch, and love eachother no matter what. You held me in your arms as a cried myself to sleep under that tree. That tree would become our new haven. The days of sitting on the playground were over, Mikey, and we had just started to accept that.

I called you in hysterics. I remember that day well. August 14, 1995. We were both 16.

"Mii--Mii---Mikey"

"What is it Tawney...where are you?"

"I--I--..."

Only you would possibly know where I was. And no later then 10 minutes were you there at my side, begging to know what was going on. It was then that I told you. I had come home to find my mother lying on the couch, very pale. I thought nothing of it until i saw the blood. The couch was soaking up my mothers blood, leaving me in this hellhole in New Jersey all alone. Goddamn my mother for doing this to me. I fucking hated her. She fucks her life up on drugs, drives her nuthouse of a husband away, and then goes ahead and slits her wrists.

"Mikey, I'm moving. They found my dad in California and I'm leaving next week" "No...you can't. Tawney, I love you, I always have and I always will. You can't leave me. I am nothing without you. You are my sun, my stars, my sky. My life. You can't leave me, you just can't."

I held you for hours under that tree, just as you did for me, that night when my dad left. You couldn't do anything but sob. I loved you Mikey, and you loved me, and nothing was going to change that. 3,000 miles. I would visit, and write, and call you every single day.

The day I left, the cab pulled up and you and I just stood there. Few words could be exchanged, for words could not describe any emotion that was going through our heads at that exact moment.

"I love you Mikey, I'll call you when my plane lands, you better be at the phone waiting for me!!"

"You bet Tawney, I'll be waiting for you. I love you--don't ever forget that"

"I love you too"

I reluctantly got into the cab and as my eyes welled up with tears, turned my head around and looked out the back window, only to see you standing there with the saddest look on your face, tears streaming down your eyes, fogging up those glasses of yours that I always loved, as you stood in the middle of the road and watched the yellow car go down the road until it made the final turn and I was no longer in sight.

I was in California for 7 years Mikey. And we wrote eachother everyday.

October 15, 1995

Dear Tawney,

I miss you more than I did yesterday. I sit here and wonder when you will come home, and I know that you won't. I hope that you are doing well there. No one will replace you, but I have made some new friends. I guess I'm trying to socialize, but without you I'm nothing. I love you--don't forget that. Love, Mikey

June 21, 1997

Dear Tawney,

From the sounds of your last letter it sounds like you are doing good. God Tawn, I can't stand it without you here. You are the only light in my life. Not even my girlfriend can make me happy. Her name in Andrea, and she is the best thing that has happened to me since you. But she's not you. All I want is you. It's getting late, it's already 2AM. I love you--don't forget that. Love, Mikey

November 5, 1999

Dear Tawney,

It's over. I broke up with her. To watch her cry like that was horrible, but I didn't want to lead her on because I don't want her. Times are tough here, my dad's ill and my moms engulfed herself in getting him better. It's like I don't exsist, and I hate them. My brothers too fucked up to talk to anymore. I wish I could see you. Let's run away together, just you and me, and forever be eachothers. I love you--don't forget that. Love, Mikey

December 15, 2001

Dear Tawney,

Your letters have been getting scarcer and scarcer. I miss hearing from you. How have you been? School is going well, but life without you is the worst. It's been 6 years and I still haven't forgotten your beautiful face. We were best friends Tawney, what happened? Have you moved on? Please, I miss you. Your voice pops out onto the pages that you write to me, and I need to hear it again. I love you--don't forget that. Love, Mikey.

The truth is Mikey, I didn't forget to write. I couldn't write. Mikey, if you could have only known. The terrors that I have gone through here is more than anyone year old should go through. My dad, that drunken asshole, he..he...I can't even say it, it's too horrible and I don't want to make you go through what I went through. It was bad, and all I could do for months is sit at home, wasting away as he knocked on my door, every night. "Tawney, open the door, its Daddy...come on" And every night, he would get into my room, and you can only imagine. Mikey, it was you that kept me alive. It was you living all the way in New Jersey that made me sneak out every night and work for hours, just so I could scrape up enough money to get me the hell out of California.

---

"Welcome to Newark Airport. The weather is 75 degrees and sunny with a 10% chance of rain in the afternoon. You may unfasten your seatbelt and exit the plane now, have a nice day"

I was finally here Mikey, to see you. Little did you know that I was only 20 miles away, but I knew where you would be. Well, one of two places that is. You could be at the comic book store, where you work every single day, or, you could be at the tree. It's been exactly 7 years to the day since I left you, and I knew that you would be at the tree, wishing that I was with you.

But you weren't at the tree. Or the comic book store. I looked for you Mikey, for hours and hours and hours, but you weren't anywhere. It was then when I saw your parents.

---

I'm at your funeral today Mikey. You killed yourself the morning of my arrival. One shot to the head and it was all over. How could you? Why would you do this to me? I'm not filled with hate for you, but now I'm all alone, in my hometown, with $10 to my name and the clothes on my back. I walk up to your casket to say my first hello, and my last goodbye.

God Mikey, look at you. All grown up, you look so handsome today. I missed you by 3 hours, just my luck. I guess 7 really wasn't your lucky number. I'm so stupid Mikey, if I had just called. I hadn't written in over 3 months, and I'm sure you were wondering where I was. I was going to tell you everything Mikey, everything that happened. I would let you hold me and I would allow you to stroke my hair and I would cry into your arms, like old times. You would be the only man I would let touch me after my father. This isn't a goodbye, its a so long for now, its a see you in a while, its a catch ya later. We will be together again someday. I love you--don't forget that