Disclaimer: Don't steal, please don't sue me and as much as I would love to I do not own or know the incredibly talented boys. Thank you. And please, please, please comment on this story. I have shown in to a couple of people, and they all loved it, and I really want to know what you think. Thank you! Chapter xxxx

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I decided I that I would go. I wanted, needed to see you again, and tell you, I knew you'd be as ecstatic as I was. Anna always held the best parties; I even met you at one. We had been together ever since. Don't you remember that party? Exactly 3 years today. I walked through the front door and smiled at a few people on my way to the spare room, the bag room. I walked in, looking for a hidden spot among the other bags to place mine. Then I heard... you, and Jamia; on the bed. I froze. With a lump forming in my throat, clutching my bag, I turned and crept, closing the door with a soft 'thud'. I bumped into Anna, an empty expression painted on my face.

"Tell them I know... when they come out."

"Uh... ok," was all she could muster.

I left. It slowly sank in. My best friend.

You told me that you wouldn't do it again. That was the first, now this is the last time. You lied.

I opened Gerard's front door and collapsed on his couch, crying and wishing to be held but wanting to be alone. There was no way I was coming home tonight; not after what you'd done - again. I will never get over the pain I felt that night. You must have fallen asleep with Jamia, or Anna hadn't told you until the morning, because the first phone call only came at 10am the next morning. Your name appeared on my caller ID; I left my phone, ringing. At the same time I heard the front door open. I knew it would be Gerard, coming home from another party. You were never jealous that we shared an apartment before I moved in with you, because Gerard and I were so close; we had known each other for the longest out of everyone. He was the reason we met at the party. I collapsed into his arms as he entered the room.

He must have found out from someone, because he held me close, telling me everything was going to be ok, that there was a reasonable explanation. But I knew, then and there, that I could never forgive you. That there was no plausible excuse. You weren't even drunk. You knew the agony I went through last time. You knew that that time was the reason for the scars. I spent that whole day in Gerard's arms, him stroking my hair, my phone's continual ringing just audible from under my jacket in a corner of the other room. He told me I could move back in. Gerard had this amazing ability to read my mind.

You came to the house at 1 pm, asking for my forgiveness through the door. Gerard got up, ready to make you leave. I knew he hated seeing me like this; once was enough. I stopped him, walking towards the door myself. I opened it. Last night's makeup was everywhere; I had tears streaming down my face. I must have looked like a mess because you stood in shock.

"I'm so sorry, please, please come home, I need you..."

You begged me to take you back.

"I'm never coming home" I whispered, and you broke down.

You ran your fingers through your hair, tears streaming down your face now as well. You could see I was serious; you knew you had made the biggest mistake of your life.

"Please leave me alone," I whispered again, and so you reluctantly turned, distraught. Before out of ear shot, I told you what I had wanted to at the party.

"Frank, I'm pregnant."

You turned back, a glint of hope in your eyes. You ran back to me, hugging me, and almost bowling me over.

"That's great," you said.

I burst into tears again.

"Please come home, we can have a family, we can grow old together, we can be happy," you kept whispering to me.

I wanted to come home, I really did. But instead I pushed you away, telling you that once is an accident, twice is not. I shut the door, sliding down the inside of it, hitting the floor before covering my face with my hands. I heard Gerard reach for his car keys.

"I'm going to grab all your stuff, is there anything else you would like?"

"Thanks," I glanced up at him. He could tell how grateful I was.

"I won't be long; everything will be alright, Hun."

Once I heard the door shut, I went to bed, crying and screaming like a hungry infant.

This wasn't like last time. This time our child was involved.

By the time all my stuff was back in my old room, I had no more tears to cry, and my throat was sore from screaming. Gerard walked over to me, and kissed my head.

"He has made the biggest mistake of his life, letting you go," he said.

Dinner was silent. That night wasn't like the one before it. I wasn't numb, or in denial. I knew we were over. I was throwing up every hour on the hour, and every time Gerard was there to hold my hair, to hand me a glass of water, to sing to me, and carry me back to bed

. "Gerard, I don't know what I would do without you." I whispered, 3am the next morning.

"Nothing I'd rather be doing," he whispered back, hugging me tighter and stroking my hair.

That was the first time I smiled in 3 days.

Months went by, before I saw you again, ran into you at a gig. There was only 3 months till our baby's birth. I was starting to show. You came up to me and touched my stomach. Your cold, sweaty hand made me shiver, and I fainted. You didn't catch me, just watched me fall. Gerard was next to me when I woke. I could see he'd been crying. I saw the hurt in his face. "Gerard can I ask you a favor?" he nodded

"Would you be a father to my child? I just don't think I can do it on my own. Plus..." I paused "I could never let him back in, not now."

"Of course I will!" he replied grinning, relieved and completely understanding.

Gerard was there for the birth, you know. A beautiful baby girl. She had your eyes. You came in to see her the next day, with flowers. I told you to leave. You did, because you saw the fresh scars. I still loved you then, and it hurt to see you. That was the last time I saw you.

Apart from her funeral.

My tiny angel had been taken away, 3 weeks later. Her fragile wings had been broken. You were there with Jamia; I had stopped all contact with her after that night. I left early, hysterical, ruined. That night was my last. When I got home I ran the bath. You must have come home with Gerard; because you were the one who found me.

You were the one who felt for the pulse.

You were the one that knew I was dead.

Both your Angels were gone.

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