Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, don't sue.

***

Chapter 1

"What the fuck are you doing?" your whisper was all it took for Gem to freeze her rifling and turn her head slightly. "Sorry. I'm just trying to find my damn keys so I can get back on the bus," she whispered back to you, sensibly. There was no need to wake everyone. "It's okay. How the hell did you get here anyways?" you said to her, sitting up, finding your glasses and climbing out of the bunk. The door had been left open slightly but you shut it behind you properly as you came out. You always had been a fairly light sleeper, hadn't you?

"I've got no fucking clue. Drinking, gambling, next thing I know, I wake up on the bus floor. Not the right bus though, obviously," Gem answered. You yawned and stretched, the skinny fit tee riding up a little to show even skinnier stomach and ribs, before running your hand idly through bed head hair and casting a half smile in her direction, "Don't worry about it." You pulled a can of soda out of the little fridge and walked off the bus, sitting on the step to the door before cracking it open, "What time is it?" "About half five," she answered, pulling up her sleeve to look at the dainty watch adorning her wrist. She climbed over you to get outside into the crisp night air and was soon stood on the kerb, "Now all I gotta do is get back on the bus without waking the rest of the guys, who will all undoubtedly assume I've been up to no good." This extracted a laugh from you, "You can just crash on the sofa bench you know." "Because that wouldn't seem a million times worse," she replied, playful sarcasm evident in her voice. "I think the rest of them know you're not like that," you answer honestly. "Oh, I know that," she said confidently then smiled, "But it don't stop the teasing, does it?"

You couldn't help but smile back, fully, "Word to that sister," you said, somewhat... lamely, and you held up your hand to her to give you five. "Oh, you're so white," she rolled her eyes at you, but you knew it was all light hearted. You raised an eyebrow back, "You trying to tell me I can't pull off the ghetto style?" Gem folded her arms, and answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world "Uh... yeah." So you shrugged and took another swig from the soda can, "Yeah, you're right. Want a soda?" You reached into the bus and pulled out a can, holding it up to Gem questioningly. She hesitated for a moment before gently throwing her arms in the air, "Sure, why the hell not?"

She took the can and parked her ass in the space on the step that had appeared when you shuffled over. Hell, you were both skinny little people and could fit in the doorway with room to spare. "Are you still drunk?" she enquired. "Um... no, why do you ask?" confusion brushed your brow. Why would she think that? "Just that you're never normally this chatty... or jokey and you definitely never smile this much; which you should do more often, by the way." "The other guys usually do my talking for me. Dude, I'm the bass player, the strong silent type," okay, so you didn't really get it either. Normally you'd have buried yourself in the duvet and stayed there until she went away, you just weren't good at people things- "Well, if we're going to be stereotyping I should be some raging homophobe with a beard and a through-the-roof testosterone count." - but she was funny. And you felt comfortable around her. So you enjoyed making conversation, rather than avoiding it. "And tattoos. And you need big arms. Drummers are supposed to have big arms. But you've got little girly ones " "You can talk, skinny ass. I already have tattoos, so it'd be pointless mentioning them." "Leave my skinny ass alone. I didn't know you had tattoos," she didn't seem the tattoo type. "Just ickle ones. Nice and delicate." "Let me guess, a butterfly and a... dolphin," they were the sorts of things girls had tattooed, weren't they? "Close. Faerie on a toadstool and a heart just here on my wrist," she pulled the sleeve of her oversized [oldskool] Greenday hoodie up and held her arm up so the bracelets fell down her arm, and sure enough there was the black outline of a broken heart.

"Little emo kid," you smiled. But it was pretty. And it did look nice there on her wrist. "You seem to like being somewhat of a hypocrite tonight, emo boy." "Well, no-one ever accused me of not being a hypocrite. So where does the faerie live or should I not ask?" now you were intrigued. "Do I seem like the kind of girl to get a tattoo in a place like that? It's on my hip, dufus, see?" she pulled up the thick, weighty material of the hoodie a little to show the image. You winced, "Didn't that hurt, being on the bone and all." "Now I could pretend to be all macho and say, 'no, it didn't hurt, I took it like a man' but in all honestly, yes, it hurt like hell." "Well, it looks like it was worth it," it was the truth. It looked even prettier than the heart, although he supposed the appeal might be that one didn't get to see it all the time, only certain people would get to see it on a regular basis. "Heh, thanks."

*

All of your band mates had decided they wanted to watch Gemma's sound check. You were looking forward to this more than you thought you would... of course you tried to tell yourself that it was nothing special.

The guys in Gemma's band, Kyle and Dan, came through the bus door to be met by a lot of screaming girls. You already had a crowd around you and were getting slightly anxious now. You didn't like crowds, but these were your fans. All the girls at the bus had already got autographs from Gerard and Frank, and now just needed Kyle and Dan's and their lives would be complete forever. Fortunately, they were much better at dealing with fainting fans than you were and hopefully the good interaction they got from Kyle and Dan would make them forget that they had barely got two words out of you.

Then Freya and Gemma appeared. Those two were like sisters. Gemma had donned a coat [that looked as warm as a sleeping bag with sleeves] that had fur round the hood and had a stripy beanie hat on. Your pen slipped off the page you had been scrawling 'MIKEY WAY!' on as she smiled at you and your mind became more interested in giving her a decent response. Even if she hadn't known [let's face it, it didn't take a genius to realise you basically had a phobia of people and social situations where you had to interact with lots of people] about your anti-social tendencies, you guessed her natural instinct would have brought her to you anyway. You made eye contact, smiled, so now, as her human instinct instructed her, she followed it through with further interaction.

You saw the patterns of her breath in the bitter wintry air and it made you pull the collar up on your jacket [the black one, with many zips going in various directions] a little further and bury your neck downwards some more. You didn't really get chance to speak any words to each other since you were both having various pieces of paper, tickets, album artwork and posters thrust at you; their owners all eager to get your black Sharpie mark on their possessions, but knowing she was stood next to you and working through the group of people with you made your mind relax a little and you felt slightly more comfortable. It was better than being on your own.

Gemma was lovely to her admirers. You wished you could be that comfortable with having friendly pictures taken with people you'd never met before [or maybe you had, but you saw so many faces flash by these days it was hard to place faces again and again]. You had all the right words waiting on the tip of your tongue, but you could never get them out, not even with a stutter. They just wouldn't flow like they did for everyone else.

Ten minutes had passed and, as if on cue, security guards emerged and gently escorted the members of the bands inside the venue. Sorry guys, we have to go to sound check right now. Yes, we'll be back out later, but we got to do our sound check. Oh wow, you made that bracelet for me? That's fuckin' awesome. Okay, I'll sign this last one but then I've really got to go. The nine people were reunited in the venue, all ready to prepare for this evenings performance.

*

RedSky knew how to work a crowd. Successful in their own right, they knew how to get the best reactions from an audience. Freya was a wonderful front woman, beautiful, energetic, fluid and dark, ever so dark. You had never worked out how she managed to take up so much stage and be so tiny at the same time. And of course there were the guys, Kyle and Dan, who liked to throw themselves about stage, pouring bottles of water onto their heads, making the girls [and guys] go wild. And at the back, on the raised platform was Gem, the enigmatic, mysterious brunette with the brilliant legs, flashing eyes and million-dollar smile.

They had walked off, finishing the set and getting backstage. Gem immediately shoved her face in a towel and took a bottle of water, drinking half of it in one go. "Fuck, that crowd is amazing," she gestured in the direction of the stage, wide eyed, smiling and exhausted. "Hell, you were amazing!" Ray said, pulling her into a hug. There was a frantic game of hugging as one of the roadies came down into the room and indicated there were three minutes left before My Chemical Romance were due onstage. You swallowed a large mouthful of beer very quickly. "Yeah, you really did good," you said as you went to congratulate the band, "Well done." "Thanks Mikey. Have another hug for good luck. Time you guys got onstage isn't it?" "Almost," you replied before turning your attention to one of your band mates, and smiling, "Hey Frank, reckon you could keep the water on you tonight? I don't look so good dripping wet." "I'll try babe, I'll try, but you know I get a little crazy out there," Frank replied, stroking his chin jokingly. "A little!" Freya exclaimed, slamming a fist on a table, "Dude, I think I need to film you so I can show you just how 'crazy' you get." "So you're into video taping huh?" Frank joked back at her. They were as little as each other, the top of Freya's head just falling an inch or two lower than Franks. Freya shook her head, rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle, playful punch on his arm, "Men! Honestly." "Okay guys, good luck. Frank, don't break a leg," Gem said to them as they left out of the door to get to the stage. Frank turned back around and gave her a cheeky wink before waving, "See you later Gem." You waved at her as you left the room and she told you she'd be at side stage as soon as she got her breath back. You went on stage tingling.

***

Chapter 2

"Wow, that was pretty awesome," Gem said, clapping as you all came back in and you noticed her eyes wide with awe, "Well done guys." The noise; clapping, cheering, stomping, and even some fragmented singing coming from the stage area, continued on and on. There were no hugs this time, that would mean everyone else getting covered in sweat and water, make up, blood and various other substances [bodily or otherwise]. Instead of hugs there was a mass towel-and-water-grabbing session, which included regaining breath and sprawling on floors, tables and any other free surfaces available. You had noticed her standing at the side stage from about your fourth song onwards, occasionally dancing with Freya and cheering as loudly as any fan in the pit below you. "Is there some event now after this show or are we off to the next venue?" Gem enquired. RedSky's tour manager, Will, answered her, "Well babe, if you feel like partying, Gerard's doing a DJ set later on tonight, but you don't have anything to do." You had subtly seated yourself next to her, "You gonna come with us?" She was good company and fast becoming someone you could see yourself being friends for a very long time. You related to each other; Gemma was also quite shy and the introvert of her band. But she was getting better, getting more comfortable with having lots of people around her all the time. She was adjusting to it much better than you, but she understood what it was like. "You're all going?" "Yeah, course," you said. Gerard was doing his DJ set. You were going to be there to show support. Gem nodded and turned to Freya, "You going to the club Frey?" "Kyle and Dan said they're going to go, so... I guess so. It'll be good." Gem turned back to you - "Yeah okay," was her answer and you couldn't help but beam at her. You were smiling more and more often now. Maybe you were slowly becoming more confident... ?

*

You were stood at the bar with Frank, leaning against it and looking out over the crowd. The bar was on a raised platform and from your positions you could see over the whole club. Gerard's set was a good selection of songs and the audience were enjoying it, dancing with friends and strangers amidst the cigarette smoke swimming in the room. You found yourself nodding your head more than once, although as a rule you didn't enjoy head-nodding kind of music. Nope, not you.

Suddenly you got a sharp clap on the shoulder and as you were about to turn to Frank and ask him what the fuck he was doing, hitting you for no reason, he pointed down into the dancing crowd. Your eye was immediately caught by an obvious irregularity in the pattern the crowd had been following and you squinted through the black-rimmed glasses as the strobe lighting flashed over the people and illuminated their faces one by one. It passed over Gemma and you saw her expression. That wasn't an expression of enjoyment. Around Gemma and Freya, a compression of people was settling in. They seemed to be at the centre of a hell of a lot of males and it appeared that everyone was getting closer together, tighter packed. "Oh Jesus," was your reply. "What are the chances of us getting in there, and getting them out again all whilst keeping ourselves in one piece?" "Pretty slim I'd say, but we could always just go and show they're off limits... " a plan formed in your brain, one that you never would have expected you could form. Frank looked at you, confused, "What?" "Just come on, follow my lead." "... okay. Whatever you say man." And with that you both elbowed your way through the crowd to get to the centre. You didn't stop until you felt Gem's slim waist in your bands. You were ready for the punch she was about to throw before she realised it was you. You ducked, but she stopped in time anyway. The punch would have put any slimy, greasy man-who-couldn't-keep-his-hands-to-himself out. You leaned in and shouted to her before she had a chance to react to the new position you were in, "Just give us a minute and you'll be out of here in no time." She nodded in recognition and clasped the top of your arms tightly. She was tense and anxious and you were going to have to fight off your agoraphobia to get her out.

Gem was looking backwards to see how Frank and Freya were doing, and suddenly you felt her go weak in your arms and slump against you. "Gem?! Gemma, are you okay?" Thankfully the crowd had backed away and lost interest as soon as they saw that the girls were taken for the next five minutes and you were able to scoop the smaller and, if possible, skinnier Gem in your arms before shouting to Frank. Freya looked petrified as you and Frank carried her out of the venue and onto the street. "Freya, did she take anything?" you asked, although you knew the answer before it was spoken. Freya shook her head violently, "She doesn't do drugs Mikey, surely you know that?" "Drink could have been spiked though," you reasoned. Anything could have happened. "She's wise," Freya knelt down on the other side of Gem to you and put a hand to her face and head, "She's just hot. It was scary in there." Frank knelt down beside Freya, and brushed the soaking hair off Gem's forehead, "You're right. You okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," Freya leaned in, oddly placid, and talked to Gem quietly, "Come on babe, you're okay now. We're outside." Freya held her hand gently and stroked it, willing her to wake and sure enough, Gem's eyes flickered open. Freya smiled at her, "Hey baby." "Is she okay?" Another male figure came rushing out of the doors. Gem's eyes widened in surprise, and clouded with confusion, "What the hell... ?"

*

Tim seemed to be an average pretty-boy emo kid Ð tall, skinny, black hair with an eye-covering fringe. "They have a 'history'," you and Frank were told by the all-knowing Freya. Gem and this new person sat on the kerb behind the three of you, "They were like the high school couple and everyone thought they were going to get married and have millions of kids and lead perfect lives and then he goes and cheats on her." Frank made an expression of acknowledgement and you stiffened, "What's he doing here?" "I dunno, I guess maybe he lives nearby now." You turned just a little to try and see what was going on. They were sitting close, really close. And laughing. She was laughing at something he was saying. Frank nudged you, "Don't look Mike, just leave them be." "B-but... " did you even have a come back argument? "You got a crush on her don'tcha?" "No!" you said defiantly. You didn't. You really didn't. You'd know if you did. You just didn't like to see your friends get hurt, that was all. "Yes you dooooo," Frank replied, teasing. Your eyes burned behind your glasses. Frank wouldn't shut up no matter how much you protested, but if you didn't protest Frank would just assume he was right. It was a lose-lose situation really, but you chose the latter option with having a lack of energy to fight and all. Frank smirked at you triumphantly, "Told ya so!" Freya stood by, amused. You looked at her and threw a thumb at Frank, "He's insane. Don't listen to him." "No worries Mikey boy, I won't go telling Freya. Or Tim," she smiled, teasingly. She turned around and walked over to Gemma, placing her hands on her shoulders and asking if she was okay before telling her she'd be back inside if she needed anything. Gemma nodded and Freya walked back in, followed by Frank. You threw your arms up in exasperation, "You guys! Stop suggesting things about me. Especially when they're not true. Because this totally isn't like being fifteen again," you added at the end, sarcastically. Gemma turned around at your shouting and smiled, confused. Great, she'd heard. After a moment her expression changed and she called you over, "Mikey, come and meet Tim." You'd already decided twenty minutes ago you didn't like him.

***

Chapter 3

You had returned to the club alone after that and no one had seen Tim or Gemma since then. Freya received a text message a little later from Gem saying she was safe and with Tim and she'd be back in the morning. You knew when Gemma had returned, because Kyle and Dan had arrived at your bus saying Gem and Freya were having some 'girl talk' they had no wish participating in. You liked Kyle and Dan, they were funny guys and you all got on really well. But now you were walking towards their bus, and you weren't sure why... You opened the door just in time to hear something you wish you hadn't. "... did you sleep with him, Gem?" "What do you think Frey? I can never say no when it comes to Tim." A big ball of something or other curdled in your throat. You couldn't really tell what it was but your natural reaction was to try to swallow it away. Of course it didn't move anywhere. You had to go in now though, you'd already opened the door. Surely they'd have realised you were there by now. "H-hey Mikey," Gemma said as you came through the door. She seemed a little surprised and unsure of herself. Maybe she wasn't sure if you'd heard or not... Freya darted her head between the two of your faces, before smiling inwardly and announcing she was going to 'make sure her guitars were being packed properly'. Suddenly the tension could have been cut with a knife. "So, did you have a good time at the club?" Gemma asked, trying to make conversation. "Yeah, it was okay," way to go Mikey! This was going to go well, you could tell. "Good. Glad you had a good time," she hesitated before continuing, "Mikey, did you hear what me and Freya were talking about as you came in... ?" "Uh... no," you lied; mustering what you hoped was a look of confusion. "Okay then. So, you got any interviews today?" why don't you just swiftly change the conversation then Gem? You wanted to cry. You really did. How was it that Tim could arrive on the scene and just sweep her away like that? "I don't think so," you managed to answer. "Okay then. Do you know if we're leaving soon?" "We should be, but we're not going far I don't think." "Ah, okay then," she was saying 'okay then' far too much. "I should leave... " you stood up to go. "Why?" There was urgency and confusion in her voice. You didn't blame her, you'd be confused in her position. "Uh... I thought you might be getting ready to leave or whatever," well, that was lame Mikey. "Not really... wanna play on Halo 2?" she asked, eyes lighting up slightly. You gave a half smile before shaking your head. "I'd better not. I really should go." Gem stood up and touched your arm as you were going through the door, and you froze, "Mikey, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, not letting your eyes meet hers. You left as quickly as you could and got out. Breathing deeply, you leant against the side of the bus before setting off to find your inhaler.

*

There he was; pretty boy extraordinaire. Feeling a little jealous? No, of course not... maybe. A little. And there she was; running up to him and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips, her hands lightly clenched on his chest. And she looked happy, excited, young. He shouldn't be here. They were leaving soon. "Mikey, snap out of it," Gerard clicked his fingers in front of your face and you blinked a few times, giving Gerard your full attention, "You all right? You seem really out of it." "Do I?" you asked, somewhat stupidly. Of course you looked out of it; you always looked out of it. "Yeah... "Gerard replied, peering into your face trying to prise whatever give-away information as to your thoughts he could, "Who's he?" You didn't need to look in the direction of Gerard's nodding head, you knew instantly who he was talking about. Everyone wanted to know about him, "His name's Tim." "Uh huh... are you going to elaborate? I know you know." You sighed, damned Gerard for having such an intuition and shoved your hands in the pockets on your skinny fit jeans, not looking at Gerard but at Gem and Tim who were cuddling and talking to Freya, "Well apparently he and Gemma used to date back in high school and then he cheated on her, they broke up and then lost contact. Then at the club last night he turned up after Gemma blacked out and she went back to his and returned this morning. And now he's here." "He looks a little... smug? Creepy? Slimy?" Gerard always had been frank and straight to the point. "Yeah, but they were dating for years according to Freya." "Hmm... well whatever, who are we to judge?" "Yeah... " you said distantly. "You ready to leave?" "Um... I think so." "Okay then, we should be off soon." You could sense that Tim was probably more trouble than he was worth.

*** Chapter 4

You nursed the bottle of beer as you sat on the step of the tour bus. You'd all stopped at a service station while everyone freshened up and stretched their legs. Half an hour a go, you could all have been found in the little centre where there were small shops selling overpriced food and drinks and gifts, and of course Gem was running around being hyperactive in that cute little way of hers squealing over pink sparkly picture frames and pens with fluff and bats on the end left over from Halloween. The former, of course, had gotten approval from Gerard and caused them to buy all the left over bat pens and now you could feel a tickle on your cheek. It was the sort of delicate tickle that makes you shiver all the way down your back. You looked out of the corner of your eye and saw Gemma's smiling face, and took another mouthful of drink as she wielded a pen at you. "Hey Mikey," she said, still letting the light material of the fluffy pen drift on your skin. "Hi," you answered, monosyllabically. Anything else may have come out wrong and caused you to look like a total loser. "What's up?" she asked, shifting closer to you. This is how you were sat on that night after the poker. "Nothing, why?" "You just seem... nevermind," she turned away. "No, tell me. What?" "Well, just lately you haven't really talked to me too much." "No offence, but you've kind of been tied up." "Sorry about that. It's hard to explain. I'm a sucker, I know, but he's my high school boyfriend and now it's like we were never apart." "I noticed," you replied quietly, more to yourself than her, contempt accented your speech heavily. But you saw her expression change. "Is there a... problem with Tim?" she asked, concern in her face. How could you say yes? You couldn't even tell her why you had such a problem with Tim. You hadn't quite worked it out yet. Why would she care about your opinion anyway? "No. No, of course not," you replied, having another drink. Gemma took the bottle out of your hand and took a mouthful from it before passing it back. "Thanks," she said, "And if you haven't got a problem, come and see him." Oh fucking hell. You really didn't want to have to converse with the emo boy, "Um... no, I think I'll stay here. Not exactly the most sociable of people." "Miiikeeey, please. You're my friend. I want you and Tim to at least acknowledge each other," she tried to pull you up by the wrist, "Please Mikey." A stupid, stupid part of your brain couldn't resist those pouting lips and pleading eyes. If only they were for a different reason... It took all your strength and self control to stop from screaming out, 'Why is it so important? Why do I have to meet the slime ball?'. You simply sighed, defeated, stood up and allowed yourself to be dragged over to where Tim was talking with Kyle and Dan. They were all high school friends, along with Freya and Gem. Gemma continued to pull on your arm until you reached the small gathering, "Mikey, this is Tim. Tim this is-" "Mikey, right?" Tim cut her off, sticking out his hand with a lopsided smile. Suck up, you thought instantly; as you took his hand and shook, giving as much smile as you could possibly muster under the horrible situation. "Yeah, that's me." You watched as Tim wrapped his arm around Gemma's shoulders, pulling her close to him. Your internal eyebrow raised itself so much you were afraid your external one might go up as well. She absently placed a hand on his chest, smiling broadly at you. She was so happy. "I hear you've been looking after Gem on the tour." She talked about you to her boyfriend? "Well, we kinda have to look out for each other, you know. Sometimes it can get pretty rough on tour." Please change your mind and go home. "Yeah, I figured. But since I won't be playing any shows, I guess I have spare time to look after Gem," he was still smiling but you suddenly knew what all this was about. It was a warning message; 'I can look after Gem' means 'Stay away from Gem, she's mine.' You merely flashed your frozen smile before excusing yourself. You couldn't spend a moment longer than you absolutely needed to around that pig.

*

"Mikey! Wait up!" you spun around to see Freya running towards you. She hadn't been in the group with the rest of her band and Tim. You waited until she caught up before continuing to walk, "Hey Freya." "I see you just met the wonder that is Tim," she said, a hint of something sarcastic in her voice. "Don't you like him or something?" you questioned. She looked at him like he had three heads, "He screwed my best friend over. I hate his fucking guts." You laughed at Freya's straight talking, "So, isn't your job to be kicking his ass right now?" "Like she's going to take any notice. She was so desperately in love with him for the longest time that she's willing to take any chance she has to keep him by her side. She thinks him cheating on her was her fault." "That's crazy." "I know, but that's how the situation is. He'll cheat on her again, and I'll just be here to pick up the pieces, it's all I can do. Just be prepared." "Me?" "Well, you two seem to have gotten pretty close just recently." "... I guess." "Well consider it your first mission as Gem's friend. Be there to catch her when she falls... for you." You looked at her, puzzled. What did she mean by that? She just gave you an airy look and walked away, "Think about it Mikey," she called over her shoulder. You shook your head, trying to shake out the thoughts colliding inside it. Now you really were confused. You shouted out to Freya again. "What do you mean?" She turned around and took a few steps backwards with a playful smile on her face, "She'll come round eventually Mikey. It's already happening. Give it a little time," she replied before spinning around and walking on. Your mind reeled. What did she know, what did she see that you couldn't? You meandered back to the bus and saw your brother lying on the bench reading a book Ð with his sunglasses on. You managed to hold his tongue about the glasses, as there was something you needed to ask him. If there was anything happening, Gerard could surely spot it. "Gee, what are your feelings regarding Gem and me?" Gerard answered simply, without even looking up from his book, "That within three weeks Tim will be out of the picture and it'll be all about you and Gem." You jumped from the seat you had just taken, "What! Where is everyone getting this idea? First Freya, then you... " "Oh, we all know Mikey. I think there's a bet running as to how long it'll take. Hurry it along though, I've got twenty down on three weeks." You stared at him open mouthed. You couldn't believe these words were falling out of Gerard's mouth with such ease. He eventually looked up from his book after finishing the last page he was on and laughed at your expression. "I'm joking Mike. Chill," he said, reaching out and ruffling your hair, "But seriously though, I think it'll happen." You, on the other hand, were still gaping in disbelief, "But... how has everyone got this idea? I don't even like Gem in that way," you protested, not for the first time. This, for some unknown reason, caused Gerard to fall about laughing hysterically. You threw your hands out in exasperation, "What the fuck Gee? I think I'm missing something here." Gerard replied between laughter, "Obviously." You now stood with your arms folded across your chest Ð power stance. That was what Miss Thingy had taught you in Social; be confident, stand well, "Care to elaborate?" "Look Mikey, you might want to clean those glasses of yours because even if you can't see the obvious attraction you find in Gem, everyone else can." "Gerard, there's nothing there, I swear. There's a prospect of a good friendship I guess-" "And the rest. Think about it Mikey, with every girl you've fallen for, you've never seen it until the last moment whereas everyone else can tell months in advance." You were silent for a moment, thinking this little sentiment over, "... okay, maybe. But this is different, Gem is a friend and she's taken anyway." "I don't like Tim." "Join the club. Me and Freya don't exactly have membership to the Tim Appreciation Society."

*** Chapter 5

Damn Gerard. Damn Frank. Damn Gem. And Damn Tim. You tossed and turned in your bunk. Days had passed, roads had been travelled, shows had been played and still there was a little wave of depression bugging you. And you now knew, thanks to Gerard, that it was all because of Gemma. You were annoyed at yourself mostly, for getting such a stupid little crush. What was it with you? Did you just have to fall for every girl that looked your way? Were you so unused to female attention that you thought every little glance meant a dinner date? Were you really so fucking clueless? You turned again, sliding your palm under your face and compressing it against the pillow, your fingers dragging through your hair. You closed your eyes, only to find them snapping open again. Oh for fuck's sake! You kicked your way out of the sheets, roughly pulled the small curtain aside and climbed out of the bunk. A few of your fellow band mates stirred in their slumber and there was a murmur and a sigh and a rustle and then everywhere fell quiet again. You left the room, shutting the door behind you. You pulled another bottle of beer out of the fridge, knocked the top off and sat on the step of the door to the bus. As always. You took a long but swift drink, rested your head against the frame of the door and shut your eyes, willing yourself to feel tired so you could go to bed and have some actual sleep. "Can't you sleep?" a voice asked from somewhere above you. Why did she have to be out now? Why couldn't she have stayed on her bus and out of your life? You took a deep breath, opened his eyes and looked upwards. She was sat on top of the fucking building opposite. It was an outbuilding of the venue, and granted it wasn't very tall but who the hell goes out at two am and sits on a roof? "No," you answered, having another drink, "What the fuck are you doing up there?" You could see the silhouette of her shoulders shrug against the night sky, "It's nice." "What's wrong with the ground?" "Can't see shit from down there." "Why, what can you see from up there?" "Everything. I just like looking at cities all lit up at night. It looks beautiful," she told you, her voice drifting off slightly at the end. "Are you okay?" "I guess." "How did you get up there?" "Climbed on the garbage disposal, into that tree and then scooted on up here," she made it seem like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Do you go climbing onto roofs often?" "I used to do it a lot as a kid, when my parents were fighting, I'd just climb through the skylight and sit on the roof and look over the city. And then they divorced, and I stopped doing it, because I had nothing to escape from; there was no shouting anymore. I started climbing onto roofs again when I hit twenty." "Twenty?" She nodded and sighed, "We'd been going out for four years and it was my twentieth birthday party, and of course everyone was completely wasted, as you would expect. A couple of weeks before, Tim and me got into a huge fight over something so stupid I can't remember it. We'd been gradually getting more and more distant from each other and whatever it was became the final straw and we didn't speak to each other for a week. We made up, of course and my birthday party was so much fun and I'd never had such a good time with all my friends until two ten am. I walked into the bathroom to find Tim with another girl. Not just any other girl, but my cousin Amber. She's two years younger than me, and she's this dark curly haired pretty thing with big sparkling eyes and porcelain skin. She's about five foot five and must weigh nothing more than ninety pounds," her voice never wavered. It stayed steady all through her retelling of events. Her voice betrayed no emotion, not even anger at her cousin, "And it became apparent to me that our 'growing apart' and fighting was all because he was fucking her behind my back. He was feeling guilty, and taking it out on me. The mentality behind it was simple enough I guess; being angry with me made the guilt of cheating on me easier to bear." You were silent, still looking at the black silhouette of her figure against the deep blue of the sky. You didn't know what to say. How could you? This wasn't a 'pat on the shoulder and send a sympathetic look' moment. And yet you didn't feel uncomfortable in her presence, as you might have done through simple human nature. Usually after hearing something like that, an acute awkwardness settles over the people involved and eventually one of them will drift away and the conversation in question is never spoken of again. But you didn't feel like that, you simply did not have a suitable response and did not feel inclined to rack your brains searching for one. "Do... do you want a drink?" you asked. "I would love a drink," she replied.

*

Although the thought that there was clearly something wrong with Gem was pressing on your mind, you stuck by the theory that if she wanted to tell you, she would tell you in her own time. She was right though; sitting on a roof really did give you a sense of release, of distance from the real world. You were sitting in an outer universe where there was nothing else, only the pretty lights that surrounded you. After the realisation that you were going to waste a lot of valuable energy going to and from the roof to get more drinks, you just brought the whole crate up and set it behind you. You had talked and laughed and jibed and drank for hours. Gerard didn't know what he was talking about; you were just friends.

Mikey + Gem = Friends.

There was nothing else to it, was there? Surely there was nothing else to add to the equation, nothing else to complicate it. It was simple arithmetic. The kind of arithmetic you did at five years of age. Because that's what their relationship was. Childlike. The kind of innocent friendship before this thing called sex existed in your world. Before hugging even. A time when it was acceptable for boy and girl best friends to stay over at each other's houses and sleep in the same room, without parents worrying about what you were getting up to, because you didn't understand the intricacies of a relationship. There was most definitely no kissing.

Kissing. Some people consider it to be a meaningless act. Something you may or may not do everyday depending on what your love life/your social status/your relatives/the mentality of your friends was like. But for some people it went deeper than that, tingling their toes, making their hearts hammer, no... pound, against their chest, creating this unsatisfied craving, deep yearning for more.

So when Gem's lips connected with yours, you each had a choice. You could either pick option a; kisses are meaningless or option b; take it further, and it was completely up to each of you individually as to which way you went.

Gem had thrown herself backwards so she was lay flat on the rooftop. She'd gotten bored of looking at the lights of the city and wanted to look at the stars instead. Then she decided her feet were being restricted inside her shoes, and kicked them off. You watched as the grey and pink Vans fell down the side of the building and disappeared into the shrubbery. "Um... Gem, you might not get them back... " "It's okay, I'll find them in the morn-" she shot up, and head butted you as you were regaining you sitting position after leaning over the side. You clutched your head, as Gem yelped and rubbed her forehead. "God, I'm such a moron!" she exclaimed, blinking a few times to rid the onslaught of dizziness, "I'm so clumsy. I'm sorry Mikey. Here, let me see." She gently pulled your hand away from your head to reveal a scrunched up expression. She took your jaw in both hands and looked intently at the right side of your forehead and around the eye area after removing your glasses carefully. It was strange to be under Gem's microscope. Strange to witness her looking at you, and not into you. "I don't think I've done too much damage... your eye might be a bit black though... " goose bumps appeared on his skin as she softly ran her finger around the side of your eye, feeling for swelling. Please don't notice. "Cold?" she asked. Too late. You heard her, but as soon as you thought of an answer, you were distracted by her fingers running along your brow bone and immediately forgot you needed to give an answer. You shuddered. "Are you okay Mike?" she pulled back a little, her fingers hovering in the air an inch or two above you face. "Um... " you staggered over your words. You may have nodded at this point, but you couldn't really tell. She was looking into you now, dissecting you bit by bit, and you, perhaps mistakenly, looked back. Fucking alcohol. Your head was spinning, but all you could focus on was her. The realisation must have hit her. Her eyes seemed to widen a little and you swore the whisper of breath as her lungs sucked air in faster than usual was audible. "Mikey... " her voice was nothing but a sigh. She indicated between the two of you, as if trying to determine what was going on, "You... me... " You didn't make any movement. You didn't need to; she was the one who looked away, her fingers still hovering, frozen. You wasn't asking her to... you knew full well she was taken and you didn't expect anything to come of her knowing about your feelings for her. Suddenly her head whipped around again, her fingers came into contact with your skin again and travelled down your jaw, exploring. She caught your chin with her index finger and pushed your head up slightly before ever so softly laying her lips on your own.

It's clichŽd but it was like having rose petals brushed against your mouth. Velvety smooth, cherry flavoured lips. You didn't know what to do with your hands. Right at that moment you were very unsure of yourself. You'd look back on the moment years later and kick yourself, thinking of a hundred different things you could have done to improve the situation. A hundred different ways to make less of a fool of yourself.

***