Repression
By Rosie13

Disclaimer: I own no part of My Chemical Romance or their affiliates, including the band members. None of the events portrayed here have ever happened, to the best of my knowledge.

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"I walked in on him again."

"Who was he with?"

My best friend. "I dunno, some guy. Looked like he was from a sleazy bar."

"Did he see you?"

Probably. "No, I don't think so. He was a little busy, if you know what I mean."

"What do you think he would have done if he saw you?"

Smirk at me and fuck the guy twice as hard. "I dunno, yell at me to get out or something."

"How many times has this happened?"

More than I can count. "Three or four times."

"Did you ever confront him about it?"

Once- I was drunk, and confessed my feelings for him. He ended up tucking me in bed like some kid, kissing my forehead, and telling me that I wasn't his girlfriend and I needed to sober up- fucking hypocrite-I cried myself to sleep that night. "No, there hasn't really been a time to bring it up, you know? Even if we did have time between practices, the guys would be there, and I couldn't talk about it in front of them."

"Do any of them know about his... activities?"

Well, since a few of them participated, I'd say so. "No, I don't think so."

"Have you talked to anyone else about this?"

What, and risk being labeled a fag for the rest of my life? "No."

"Do you want to talk about it anymore?"

Yes. "I dunno."

"We don't have to if you don't want to."

All I want to do right now is lay on your red velvet couch, close my eyes and let your probing fingers dig into my heart and have my liquid insides overflow onto the cold marble floor, naked and shivering, so you could figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. "I think I'm good."

"Alright. Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

I'm slowly dying. I'm drinking more than five beers a day, I need cough syrup to stop my head from buzzing, and I don't use my razor just to shave anymore. Help me- I'm falling, and I don't know how to stop. "No, I'm okay."

"If you're sure."

I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not! "Yeah."

"Well, then I guess I'll see you next week, same time."

If I haven't drowned by then, sure. "Next week."

"It's always a pleasure talking to you, Mikey- and if anything happens between you and your brother, don't be afraid to give me a call."

I'll keep that in mind next time I lock myself in the bathroom with a box cutter after seeing him screw Frankie for the third time today, thanks. "Yeah, okay."

"Goodbye, Mikey."

Forever. "Bye."

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In celebration of my new haircut. :)