Disclaimer: If I owned the guys I wouldn't have to write fanfiction to satisfy my strange cravings. I don't know them either. I've hung out on their bus before though. Anyway, look for the sequel soon. It's NC-17. *whoo!*

Shea was hunched over in one corner of the living room, crying hard.

Standing up, she looked around the cold, dark room. Staggering to the kitchen, she pulled open the knife drawer and rummaged through the knives, passing the dull ones and pulled out the sharpest one; a filet knife.

Clutching it in her hands, she rushed out of the kitchen and down the dim hallway, until she got to the end; the door leading into her bedroom.

Opening up the door, she closed it a bit, not bothering with closing it all the way.

She tried to catch her breath as she tumbled down on the floor in front of her bed and looked up at the knife.

At that moment, everything she'd wanted to do had become a reality. It seemed so surreal to her, that she broke out into a fresh fit of tears. Panting heavily with hot, salty tears streaming down her pale cheeks, she gripped the knife tightly and slid the knife up her arm, wincing as the blade sliced her skin. At first the pain was unbearable, but she knew it would be over soon. She bit her tongue as she entered the darkness that beckoned to her.

***

Sam came downstairs and sat down on the couch, picked up the remote, and turned on the television. Moments later, her mother came downstairs, grabbed the remote out of her hand and turned off the TV.

"I want to talk to you."

Sam rolled her eyes and muttered, standing up and walking to the stairs, "Not now, mom..."

Her mom followed her, and Sam saw an arm shoot out in front of her, blocking the stairs.

"Sit down. Now."

Sam sighed, looked at her mom in disgust, and turned around to sit on the beat up shaggy couch.

Sam's mom crossed her arms, standing in front of her, and began to pace.

"What the hell were you thinking? You could've been killed! And where in the hell is Shea?!" she said, looking around.

Still staring straight ahead of her at the blank T.V. screen, Sam shrugged, "But I wasn't. And I don't know. Is that all?"

Her mom stopped pacing, turned to face Sam, walked straight up to her, and spat, "Don't be smart."

"I'm not smart anyway, what good am I?" Sam yelled, standing up abruptly, facing the front door.

"Don't you dare walk out that door, you bitch!"

"Wasn't gonna." Sam retorted, walked to the door, grabbed her keys off the key holder, and walked calmly to the back of the house.

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE DRIVING!!" Her mom screamed as she scrambled to run around to the back.

"See ya later, mom. Or, not. I dunno. It depends on how drunk I get tonight." Sam said, not bothering to glance at her mother, whose face was beet red and scrunched up with fury.

Sliding open the back door, Sam threw her keys in her purse, tossed it over her shoulder, and ran out back. She ran around to the side and jumped the fence to the street. Behind her in the house, her mom stood in awe, and on the verge of tears. This could be the last time she saw her daughter.

***

Sam bolted to the other side of the street where her Hummer stood silently, resting under a streetlight. Quickly, she yanked open the door, hopped in, and gunned the engine, speeding off down the street towards her destination.

Sam continued to lead her Hummer down the streets of the silent neighborhood, when she sharply turned a corner, and saw a bright light. She swerved to the left, driving in the grass and nearly knocking over a mailbox. A honking was heard behind her, as the driver she nearly killed sped off, shouting obscenities in her direction. She couldn't hear them. She was focused on getting to where she needed to be.

Getting back on the right side of the road, Sam turned right, then right, and then left, down Hilled Stone Lane.

She pulled into the driveway of a shabby house. The shudders were off their hinges, clinging onto the remnants of the paint and glue that kept them attached. The door was creaky, as was the walkway up to it. Sam reluctantly looked up at the windows, to see if the lights were on. None were. She sighed, and turned off the car, stepping out.

Sam slowly walked to the door on the wooden path, stepping over stray rocks and shrubs, also avoiding a few dead beetles on her way. When she reached the door, she forced herself to knock... which gave way into the old house, leaving the entire place exposed to Sam. She peeked her head in the doorway, and silently called out, "Hello? Shea?" she took a few steps inside, jumping at the creaking of the door.

"God this place is a dump..." she mumbled."Shea?!" She called out, this time louder, and with a hint of nervousness.

Sam spun around, looking for evidence that would lead her to where her friend was. She walked in the direction of the kitchen, when she heard a small thud coming from Shea's bedroom. She turned away from the kitchen, and began walking in that direction. Cautiously at first, until she ended up jogging to the door. She peered through the crack in the door and gasped, stumbling backwards.

***

Her back hit the old, dusty wall, and cobwebs and peeled paint fell all around her. Sam took a moment to catch her breath, then walked slowly back to the door, reaching for the handle. Shutting her eyes, she pushed the door open with ease. She slowly opened one of her eyes, then another, and stumbled onto the floor in a fit of tears where her friend lay.

"Shea... you fucked it up..." Sam said, sprawling herself across the floor to her friend.

"You better wake up, or I'm gonna kill you..." Sam stared at the motionless body for a moment, before taking a deep breath and pulling out her cell phone.

***

A few minutes later, footsteps heard at the entrance of the house.

"Hello? We've come to help..." Sam could hear them stepping around the rubble that use to be the door.

Opening her eyes and sniffing a bit, Sam stood up and staggered to the hallway, calling out and motioning for the aid to go in her direction. "She's in here, sir..."

"Thank you..." He said, and walked into the room, followed by a woman carrying a stretcher. They hoisted Shea up onto the white carrier, and made their way out of the old house, Sam close behind.

***

Sam followed the aids out to the ambulance, where they gently rolled the stretcher in. She sat down next to the female nurse, who was hooking an IV to one arm, while the man was stitching up the other. She winced as the needle was being pushed back and forth repeatedly, and turned her head away to look out the window. She looked out on the old house, and saw it shrink in the distance as the ambulance sped off towards the hospital.

***

It was around two in the morning, and Sam was straining to remain upright and to see clearly.

"Are you alright, miss?" The female nurse inquired.

"What..? Oh... yeah... I'm fine... just a bit...shaken..." Sam said quietly, as she followed the nurses to a room where they hooked Shea up to an IV bag. When they checked her pulse, Sam let out a sigh of relief and silently tilted her head upward to thank whoever held Shea's heartbeat.

Sam looked at the clock. She had been sitting in front of Shea's, what seemed to be, lifeless body for over four hours. She was clenching the magazine the doctor had given her to help pass the time. The articles about Brittany Spears and her husband and how the sex is better now that she's pregnant were most definitely not helping. She glanced at the clock twice more, before hearing a small moaning noise from the blankets.

***

Shea could feel herself breathing normally again, and moaned softly as she rolled over to lie on her side.

It was quiet enough that she could hear the sound of the wall clock ticking. Fluttering her eyes open, she faced her best friend, Sam.

Shea turned on her back and placed her arms by her sides in an attempt to sit upright.

Tears started to swell up in Sam's eyes.

She scooted her chair closer to Shea's bed and held her hand firmly. "When I found you lying on the floor, my heart hit the lowest pit of my chest and I almost thought that I lost you..." Her voice cracked and was full of love, worry, and concern.

She patted away her tears with a tissue and looked straight into Shea's eyes. "I would hate to ever lose you. I don't know what I would do if you had-" Sam trailed off, looking blankly at the floor, teardrops splattering silently onto the tile.

Shea tried to speak, but was too weak to. She just stared right back at Sam, and put on her most sincere smile.

Sam looked over at a table near the bed, and walked over. Picking up a glass of ice water, she handed it to Shea who gratefully took it from her, nodding. Shea hadn't realized how dry her throat was. She took a sip and cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry Sam... I wasn't thinking at all..."

"It's okay...get some rest, you need it." Sam got up out of the chair and lay right next to Shea, closing her eyes. Shea curled up on the other side of the bed and stared off into space. Sam may have been sound asleep, but Shea's mind was elsewhere.

Around five o'clock that afternoon, Sam woke up to Shea sitting on the edge of the bed and looking out the window. "Shea... did you get any sle-" she stopped, happy to see Shea had a smile planted on her face, but Shea's eyes going in every direction.

"Sam, I can't stand it here... please, take me out of this place..." She broke off, not knowing how Sam would react.

"I can't, you need to recover..." Sam said softly.

"Fuck recovery, I'm feeling fine." Shea said firmly, sitting up straight.

"I don't know about this Shea... I'm really worried about you, and...um..." Sam choked back tears.

"Please Sam." Shea begged her.

Sam took a breath, and sighed as she stood up. "But if you can't do it, you're staying." Sam gave Shea a weak smile.

"Naw, I'm good." Shea stood up, wobbling.

"Need help...?" She offered her arm. Shea refused it, and slowly made her way to the door, just as her legs buckled, sending her sprawling to the ground. Sam caught her before she hit the floor.

"Shit... are you sure you can do this?"

"Yes, I am!" She moaned, the pain from cutting her arm refreshing her memory.

"Okay, well at least can I help you?"

"Please..."

Shea leaned against Sam as she helped her walk out of the hospital room. It was quiet, nobody seemed to be around. There were only few lights on; the hallway seemed abandoned like a ghost town.

"It's five in the afternoon, where is everyone?" Shea asked.

"Some lady just delivered five babies premature. They had to recruit everyone into emergency surgery."

Shea winced as she said, "So what am I, chop liver?!"

Sam chuckled nervously as she continued to shuffle her feet to Shea's slow movement.

Sam and Shea began to walk down the empty hallway, the sound of their footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. Shea began to whimper from the pain, and hunched over, leaning on the wall for support.

"Fuck... Shea, I told you, if you can't-"

"I'm fine!" Shea seethed through clenched teeth.

Sam gulped and hoped Shea wouldn't collapse half way out of the hospital.

"Okay, we should... keep going... The sooner we get out of here, the better." Shea stood up straight again, holding out her arm, trying to keep her balance.

Sam sighed as Shea leaned against her and she helped her into the elevator. "Okay, lean against the rail." Sam said to her as she pressed the lobby button. The light on the ceiling of the elevator fluttered its light, and then went out.

"Oh fuck, this is just great..." Sam mumbled.

"At least it's still moving," Shea said.

Soon the elevator reached the lobby and the door slid upon.

"Come on Shea." Shea leaned on Sam again and they both went out into the lobby. The lobby was a bit more occupied, but not by much.

"We're almost there..." Shea let out and quickened her step.

Sam and Shea soon reached the exit of the hospital. "I can see my Hummer from here, lets hurry up."

Approaching Sam's car, she fumbled through her purse and took out her keys, unlocking the passenger door, helping Shea sit down. She closed the door and opened up the driver's seat door and sat down, pulling the door shut.

The two sat there silently for a moment, before Sam put her keys in the ignition. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew they couldn't stay in this town much longer.

***

Sam drove for three hours straight, not bothering to get gas though the meter read nearly empty. Shea had fallen asleep within the first 15 minutes, and was moaning softly with her head leaned up against the cold glass window.

Sam glanced at Shea and smiled to herself; she had gotten her friend out of a place where she was likely to kill herself. Shea couldn't handle that kind of thing... being put away in a cold hospital room, with fidgety nurses and twitchy patients randomly waltzing into her room on occasion. Sam had been in a hospital before, but it was a different type of facility, and a completely different reason.

She turned her focus back to the road and sighed. She still couldn't figure out where to go.

After another half hour of driving, they reached the city limits, considering Sam was going at an incredibly slow speed. 35mph, but the bright signs told her to go at least 20 more.

She spotted a bar and decided Shea might need a little wake-up, not to mention herself.

As she pulled into a tight parking spot, she could've sworn she saw a figure to her left walking around to the side entrance.

"Weird..." she said suspiciously, but then shrugged it off and pulled out her keys.

"Shea... Shea!" Sam shook her drooling friend awake.

"Wazzgoinon?" Shea waved her hand in Sam's face, and sat up, wiping the drool off her chin and the window.

"Let's go in here.." Sam said, as she unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her purse.

"Where are we?" Shea asked.

"At a bar, outside the city. I wanted to get as far away as I could get you. Now let's go get wasted. like the good 'ol days." said Sam, and shut the car door.

Shea sat there for a moment before smiling to herself and getting out of the car. Sam pointed her keys at it and hit a button, and the Hummer beeped, flashed it's lights, and went dim.

"Trusty steed..." Sam murmured as they walked into the bar.

*****

Shea sat down next to Sam at the bar, who ordered two Bloody Mary's and a few celery sticks. Sam didn't think she could hold much alcohol all of a sudden, after spotting a few grungy looking men sitting opposite them in the bar. Shea held her head in her hands, and took a deep breath.

"Thanks for taking me, Sam... I don't know what I would've done if... if..." Shea trailed off, her voice quivering.

Sam took a bite out of a celery stick, and nodded, as if she knew exactly what Shea meant.

Shea turned her head and looked at her, smiling.

"What're best friends for?"

The both grinned at each other and recited in unison, with their left hands just above their right breasts. "To fuck, to fight, to drink, to die." They both burst out in a fit a giggles and gasps.

Two men behind them, one with short, straggly black hair and another one with a black Mohawk that fell over his eye raised their eyebrows as the one with the Mohawk turned around to face Sam.

Shea stopped laughing and cupped her hand over her mouth. "Sam..." she said, speaking through her hand.

Sam stopped laughing at Shea's immediate reaction and spun around, grinning. "Oh, sorry, did we disturb you?"

The man shook his head and smiled. "No, not at all. You two seem to be having a pretty good time, eh?"

Sam smiled and looked down at her glass. "Yeah, well... we're trying to figure out if our lives are still worth living." She sighed and took another sip of her drink, then extending her hand to the stranger. "I'm Sam, and this is Shea."

"Nice to meet you, Sam, Shea." he said politely, shaking her hand. "I'm Frank. And this bub with me is Gerard."

Shea chuckled at the word used to describe the curious man sitting next to Frank, and held out her hand to Frank, then Gerard. "Nice to meet you two." she said, holding back another giggle.

"Nice to meet you guys, too." Gerard said, looking Shea straight in the eye. Shea and Gerard held gazes for a moment, before Frank broke the silence by saying to Sam, "You're... trying to figure out, if your lives are worth living?" he asked, pausing to see if it was appropriate to ask.

Sam looked up at him, confused. "Yeah... but... nobody has really cared before... that's why..." Sam stopped to look at Shea's arm, which the bandages were already seeping with blood.

Frank shook his head in disapproval, and turned to face Gerard. "Do we have any extra gauze and bandaging in the bus?"

"I'm pretty sure... that must've hurt, didn't it?" Gerard asked Shea, standing up and fumbling with his keys.

Shea looked down and turned her back to the three to hold back her tears.

Sam looked at Gerard and said, "I'm sorry. She's just... shaken, right now..." she sighed.

"I'm sure she is..." Gerard said solemnly, before putting on his jacket, and walking to Shea. "Come with me, I'll get your arm cleaned up."

"Um, I don't know if-" Sam began.

Frank cut her off by saying, "You can go with us, if you want."

Sam thought it over three times, like her father use to tell her, and nodded. She turned around and took Shea's hand that wasn't the arm she injured. "Come on, sweetie... let's get your arm fixed, okay? I don't want you losing an arm."

Shea nodded, still staring at the floor. Gerard put his arm underneath her arm, to help her walk, and she flinched at the physical contact made.

Shea groaned slightly as her bloody arm twitched a couple times. Gerard led them around the back of the bar, and out the door, where a huge bus was parked.

"Holy shit..." Sam said, staring at it. "What are you guys, in a band or something?"

"You could say that." Frank said, and opening the door to her. "Ladies first." "Right." Sam said, and turned to Gerard. "Gerard?"

He laughed. "Ha ha, very funny. Witty, isn't she Frank?"

Frank nodded, and chuckled, "I'm sure she's got more tricks up her sleeve."

Gerard helped Shea up the stairs into the clean bus. Shea was breathing heavy and Gerard could feel her going limp as her energy left her along with the massive amounts of blood.

He gently laid her down on the black leather couch to the right of the bus (Author's note: This is exactly like their bus, because I wanted to give you guys a mental image of what MCR's tour bus looks like on the inside.) and walked to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom down the hall.

Sam sat down on a folded up foam blanket on the couch opposite of where Shea was, and sighed.

"Sam, is he still here?"

"Who?"

"That hottie who asked me if it hurt when I cut my arm."

At that moment, Gerard walked back to her, carrying fresh gauze and bandages.

"Yeah, I'm still here."

"Oh hi..." Shea said, and blushed as she turned her head to the window.

Gerard smiled silently and lifted up Shea's arm. She winced and bit back a yelp of pain, as he slowly peeled off the old bandages, discarding them in the wastebasket behind him.

Now Shea's arm was visible to all in the bus. Frank turned away and sat down next to Sam, who was staring at Shea's arm with horror and sorrow.

"Shea..." She said in her mind. "Why.. why do you do these things to yourself... it's not like your parents will come back if you do this..."

The cut went from two inches above the inside of her elbow down to her wrist. It was an eighth of an inch wide, and about a fourth of an inch deep. Small trickles of blood were dripping from her wrist, which under Gerard had put a folded up washcloth.

The edges of the cut were beginning to scab, and the stitches looked as if they were about to burst, however tight they may have been holding.

Gerard started by putting a clear, cold liquid in the cut, and Shea bit her lip as tears welled up in her eyes. She tapped her feet against the driver's seat, and Gerard began putting gauze over the cut. She stopped tapping her feet, and said in shock, "I can't feel anything in my arm."

Gerard nodded his head, to say that she wasn't supposed to. As soon as the gauze was placed, he started from the top of the wound and wrapped a white bandage all around her arm several times. It looked as if she was wearing a moveable cast when he was done.

"Wow..." she said breathlessly, as she bended her arm slowly, but stopped, realizing the pain was coming back.

"I'll get some of my pain killers for you..." Gerard said, as he stood up and walked back to the bathroom.

Sam didn't realize that the whole time Gerard had been fixing up Shea, Frank had been asleep in her lap.

She looked at him curiously as a strand of hair fell into his eye, which she quickly tucked behind his ear, and looked back at Shea.

Gerard walked out of the bathroom with a bottle of prescription pills. Shea looked at them and asked, "Are they safe?"

He looked at her and said, "Yeah, I got them prescribed for.. well, maybe I'll tell you later." He popped the cap open and handed her two, and walked to the sink to pour her some water.

Shea looked at Sam, who was stroking Frank's hair, and cleared her throat.

Sam looked up and said, "Oh... sorry.. he fell asleep.."

"I can see that." Shea said, and swallowed the pills as Gerard handed her a glass of water.

"Thanks for fixing me up." Shea said to Gerard, after she had gulped down the whole glass.

"No problem, it happens all the time." Gerard stopped after he realized what he had said, and looked down at the tile. "What I meant was-" he started.

"Don't worry about it," Shea said quietly. "You don't have to explain... I understand completely."

Gerard looked back up at her, and they once again held gazes. This time, nobody interrupted.

After a few moments, Gerard said, "Thanks..."

"Don't be thanking me. I'm the one who should be thankful." Shea said as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, quietly as to not wake up Frank.

"I think we've intruded long enough."

Sam looked down at Frank, who was smiling as he snuggled up to her leg, then up at Gerard, who said quickly, "Please... please don't go. You're not... intruding.. you can stay as long as you want. We've got nowhere to be... we're off tour now."

"Off...tour?" Sam asked, looked from Shea to Gerard.

"Well...er, you see, Frank and I, and a few other fellows, including my brother... we're in a band..." Gerard said, smiling slightly.

"How cool is that?" Shea asked Sam, sitting back down next to Gerard.

"Pretty cool," Sam said, dumbfounded. She had begun to stroke Frank's hair again.

Shea grinned to herself and turned to face Gerard. "So, this band... what's it called?"

"My Chemical Romance." He said, and immediately Sam snapped to attention.

"Oh my god..." she said, sliding off her seat, taking Frank to the bus floor with her.

"What..." Frank said dreamily.

"Sorry, Frank... oh my god, Frank!!" She said, and stumbled to help him off the ground.

"I take it you've heard of us, then?" Gerard asked, chuckling.

"Have I heard of you?! I bought your CD when it came out but totally forgot about it because I had to go back to work... you guys are amazing!"

"Thanks..." Frank said, laying back down on the couch.

"Shea...?" Gerard asked.

Shea was staring at Gerard, her jaw to the floor.

"I thought you two looked familiar!!!" she exclaimed, jumping onto Gerard's lap and giving him a hug, as she screamed and pulled her arm away.

"Hello...!" Gerard said when she jumped on him, then squeezed her upper arm to stop the pain.

Shea sat there in his lap, panting, with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Sorry..." she started, as Gerard wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"Please, don't do that ever again..." he whispered in her ear, motioning to her arm. Shea felt her heart flutter, and her knees weaken. She nodded her head and looked at her arm. "I promise..."

Sam and Frank had struck up a discussion on their guitars.

"I just picked up guitar in May. I have no clue why, either. But I really can't play!" Sam laughed.

"I can help you, if you want. I'm sure you can't be that bad." Frank offered.

Shea looked over to Frank and laughed. "You obviously haven't heard her play!!"

Sam blushed and bit her lip. Frank smiled at her and said, "Well, we'll work on it, ok?"

Sam nodded shyly, then jumped as her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" She said into the phone.

"Miss Errit?" a nervous voice said, which she recognized as one of the hospital's nurses.

"Yes....?" Sam said slowly.

"Oh thank heavens! We've been trying to contact you or Shea for hours!! Where in the world did you go?!"

"Umm... we... we went to another hospital, outside of town..." Sam lied.

"Which one?" asked the nurse?

Sam looked, wide-eyed around the bus, to see if anybody had an ideas. Her eyes fell on a teddy bear, probably given by a fan, and said, "The Children's H-hospital." her voice quivered.

There was a moment of silence on the other end, as Sam heard the Nurse shuffling through some papers. "Ah, yes. Newman's. Well, we'll send Shea's records over there-"

"Don't!" Sam exclaimed, quite loud.

"...why ever not?" S

am swore under her breath and said, "B-because... umm... I already... I already have copies, with me.. in my purse."

Another moment of silence.

"Okay..." the nurse began suspiciously. "If you don't mind me asking, why did you leave our hospital for another one miles from where Miss Shea lives?"

"Because we didn't feel she was getting the attention and service she needed from an abandoned hospital!" Sam yelled, and slammed her phone shut, throwing it into her bag. Frank, Gerard and Shea all looked at her. Shea nodded approvingly, Gerard looked confused, and Frank was holding back laughs.

"Do you think we could stay here overnight?"

***

Frank and Gerard talked it over with each other (considering the rest of the band was already home), and agreed to let them stay on the bus. They were heading to a town called Newark, in New Jersey, and Sam didn't have a problem with it.

"If I had the choice, I'd probably stay with you guys on this bus forever!" Shea said, first thing in the morning, walking out of the sleeping area.

Gerard said under his breath, "Maybe you should..."

But Shea didn't hear him, and plopped down next to Sam on the couch she was sitting on the previous night.

Sam and Frank were playing eachother a game of Mario Kart, and Frank was losing.

Badly.

"You know, it's a good thing this isn't one of those strip-tease games, otherwise you'd have been in your boxers hours ago!!!" Sam joked.

"Ha ha.." Frank said, blushing, and completely spilling over a banana peel.

"Shit!!!" He yelled, throwing his controller on the couch. "You win AGAIN!"

"Ha!! Now you owe me twenty." Sam laughed.

"Twenty BUCKS?!" Frank asked, wide-eyed.

Sam chuckled. "No, silly. Twenty PUSHUPS... in drag." she grinned.

"WHAT?!" Frank exclaimed, standing up.

"We agreed that whoever won 3/5 first would get a wish!" Sam protested.

"But... in drag?!" Frank whined.

"Yes." Sam said, handing him her backpack full of clothes. "In drag."

***

Frank reluctantly came out of the bathroom three minutes later with his Mohawk in a ponytail, blue eye shadow, a leather skirt, and a female Ramones t-shirt.

Sam and Shea burst out into laughter.

"OH- MY GOD!" Sam squealed. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PUT THAT OUTFIT ON!!!"

Gerard walked into the bus with four coffees, stumbling backward, trying not to laugh.

"Don't... say... a word..." Frank mumbled.

"What? What was that? MUMBLER!!!" Gerard said, releasing the laughs and setting down the coffee.

Frank groaned as Sam said, "Okay, twenty pushups." He laid on the floor in the exactly incorrect position, and Sam said, "If you do them wrong, you have to do them over again."

Frank mimicked, "'If you do them wrong blah blah blah.. '" he got into the right position, did three push ups, and collapsed onto the ground.

"Start over!!" Sam giggled, as she watched the skirt fall down Frank's lower half.

Frank held his breath as he did twenty pushups, with the girls and Gerard laughing at every odd movement.

She stood up and sat on his back.

"Owwwww!!" he squirmed.

"Now do three with me on your back." she commanded, resisting a powerful urge to start a tickle fight.

He moaned and begged her to get off him.

"A guy wants me to get off him? Now that's a first!" Sam joked at Shea, who nodded, sipping some coffee.

Frank gave into Sam's orders, and three pushups as best he could with her weight on his back.

She patted his head and said, "Good boy. That'll teach you to practice on your X-box more."

He rolled over on his back to his left, grabbing Sam by the ankles and pulling her down.

She screamed as she felt herself being flipped over and sat on.

What the....!"

"Ha!!" Frank teased, as he pinned her arms above her head and started tickling her.

"NO!!!!" she gasped. "IT-TICKLES!!!" she squealed and screamed, begging him to stop. He finally did when Gerard poked him in the back.

Sam was red in the face when Frank got off her. "That wasn't nice!!" she pouted.

"Neither was this." He said, gesturing to the leather mini skirt.

He went back into the bathroom and changed into his own clothes, handing back Sam's clothes.

"Thanks." she said, and sat down on the couch. Frank sat down next to her, and she jolted up in her seat.

"Woah, I'm not gonna tickle you again... well, not right now, anyway." he smirked.

"Okay..." she sighed. "Good."

They sat there in silence for a while until Gerard decided to hand out the coffees. As he did so, Frank stuck out his foot and nearly tripped Gerard.

"Fuck...!!" Gerard exclaimed, but Shea caught him by the shirt and pulled him upright. He only managed to spill a few droplets of coffee. Frank laughed and got up to get a paper towel.

"Ha ha, very funny.." Gerard mumbled, as Shea wiped off the coffee from his shirt.

"That hurt, you know."

"Ah well... it was funny." Frank chuckled, dabbing the carpet with a paper towel.

Sam giggled, then Shea said, "I'm gonna go to the gas station to get some gum." she started walking out of the bus when Gerard said, "Wait!"

She turned around. "Yeah?"

"I'm gonna come with you."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

Sam and Frank watched the two of them leave, then burst out into laughter.

"Good one!!" Sam choked, and rolled on her back laughing.

"Thanks!!" Frank said, and jumped on top of her in a tickle fight.

"Nooo!!!!" Sam squealed. "You... you promised!!" she gasped.

"Yes!!" Frank laughed. "I said not right now!! But that was then." He tickled her at the sides and she screamed in pain.

"Ooow ow ow ow!!!" she cried. "It... it tickles!!!" she choked.

"I know it does..." he said, and stopped, staring down at her.

"What?!" Sam said. "Get off me!!!" she laughed.

He stared at her for another moment. He was looking at her neck.

"What..?" She said slowly.

He reached out with his hand and rubbed her neck where he was looking. She winced.

"Did you do this?" he was referring to small red cuts on her neck.

She was silent for a moment, then slowly shook her head.

"Who did it...?" he said quietly.

"N-no one..." she stuttered.

He continued to massage her neck. She turned her head away.

Frank bent down hesitantly and kissed her neck softly.

Sam jolted her head back to face him, curiously.

"Please... who did this to you?" ***

Shea and Gerard were walking back from the gas station they were parked at. Shea was snapping her gum loudly.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" Gerard chuckled.

"Yup." She said, smacking her gum louder.

"HOSHIT!!" Shea screamed, as her foot hit a pothole, and she stumbled forward.

Gerard caught her by the shirt and instinctively snapped her back up, pulling her close to him.

She gasped, and was found staring into Gerard's eyes.

They stayed like that for a minute, before Shea said, "T-thanks..."

He let her go, but reluctantly. "You caught me. I had to return the favor."

Shea smiled and said, "Come on. I'm sure Sam wants some gum."

***

Frank was still sitting on top of Sam, kissing her neck gently when Shea and Gerard walked in, laughing.

"Umm... hey guys.. we brought...gum...." Shea said, holding back more laughter.

Gerard stood there staring at him, grinning like a maniac.

Frank looked up and Sam tilted her head backwards. She blushed as he got off her.

"Sorry.. um..." Frank began, talking to Gerard.

Shea was looking at Sam, who was motioning to her neck, and Shea nodded in understanding. "Don't worry about it, Frank. I know."

Frank blushed and looked away. Gerard looked confused as hell.

"What was-" he began.

"Tell you later." Shea said, handing some gum to Sam.

"O..kay..." Gerard said. "Who's hungry?"

"Me!!" Shea and Sam said together. Frank nodded and Gerard went to the cabinet and took out a phone book.

"Dinner...?" Sam asked, half kidding half serious.

Gerard flipped to a page, pointed to a number, and said, "Yup." He took out his cell phone and dialed the number . He was ordering Chinese food.

"Yes!" Frank clapped his hands, smiling. Sam looked away from him.

Half an hour later after story-telling and joke-making, the Chinese food arrived.

"God I am starving!" Sam said, grabbing the lo-mein.

The four of them pigged out, munching on noodles, tofu, and vegetarian spring rolls. Frank discovered that Sam was vegetarian, like he was. Sam complained that PETA used scare tactics to gain followers, while Frank begged to differ, saying that whether or not PETA used scare tactics, they'd still have supporters.

Gerard and Shea talked about random things, such as "Oh god this bus is huge!" to "Man that's one of the best bands EVER!"

After about an hour of nonstop eating and babbling, they all laid back, and started laughing.

"We should do this more often!" Gerard said.

Shea nodded, popping in another piece of gum.

"Ooh, gimme a piece!" Sam whined, and Shea tossed an unwrapped piece at her. Sam caught it in her mouth.

"Nice skills!!" Frank laughed.

"Thanks," Sam snapped her gum just as loud as Shea had earlier.

At this movement, Shea and Gerard looked at eachother, then looked away, blushing.

"Looks like they did more than buy gum out there..." Frank whispered. The way he whispered in her ear made her spine tingle, and she nodded.

Gerard decided to ask Shea what the whole neck thing was about.

He leaned over to her and mumbled, "So... why was Sam pointing to her neck after we found Frank doing you-know-what to her?"

Shea sat there, letting the words echo in her head. "Well... Sam doesn't have the most pleasant life..." she began, but was cut off.

"My ex boyfriend has been coming after me. It's his way of getting me back for 'breaking his FUCKING heart'."

Frank and Gerard stared at her, speechless and jaws dropped, while Shea sat there calmly, fiddling with her fingers.

"I broke up with him because I knew it was going nowhere, and he was becoming a bit of a..." she paused, thinking of the right word. "A bit of an obsessed maniac. He.. came after me, and every time I fled... he would find me, every time..." she took a deep breath, and realized Frank's hand was on her thigh. She forced herself to finish.

"He always managed to find me alone... and he always carried..." she stopped and inhaled deeply. "He always carried these.. these chains with him... and-" she was in tears, her eyes blank but her face full of fear.

Shea decided to finish for her. "He'd handcuff her, drag her to his place, chain her up to his bedpost, and cut her neck slowly until she begged for him to fuck her." Frank and Gerard jolted their heads to Shea. Sam was sobbing uncontrollably.

There was a long pause. All that could be heard in the bus was the sound of Sam's crying, muffled by her hands.

Frank suddenly remembered the way the cuts looked on her neck; some were the same color as her skin, but obvious. Some were light pink... and some were fresh, red, and scabbing.

"When... when was the last time he..." Frank trailed off, hoping Sam would understand what he was asking.

"Four days ago." Sam said gloomily. "Four fucking days ago..." she turned to Frank and cried into his shirt.

He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "I'll kill that bastard. He'll never touch you again."

Sam, Shea and the guys spent a week on the bus, traveling to New Jersey, and talking about anything that crossed their minds. Well.. not everything.

"No!!" Sam yelled, running around the foldout table, away from Frank.

"Why won't you tell me?" He laughed, ducking under the table and tackling her legs.

"Fuck-!!" She screamed, and collapsed to the ground with Frank.

"Why won't you tell me?" He said softly.

Sam struggled a bit, and realized Frank was not going to let go.

"I don't want to tell you now, okay?" Sam settled on that answer.

"You say that every time I ask." Frank said, disappointed.

"I know, because it's not the right time for it." Sam said coolly, struggling again.

Frank sighed, and released his grip on her. Sam just sat there, laying in his arms, thinking.

"Um, Sam?" Frank said, after a minute.

Sam seemed to be in some sort of trance, but replied, "Huh?" dreamily.

"You're squishing me."

Sam shook her head to stop thinking about whatever it may have been, and moved, but Frank pulled her back down in a different position.

"Hey, I said you were squishing me. I never said to move." ***

Gerard wiped a single tear off of Shea's cheek. She winced at his touch; it hurt, and she didn't want it.

"Shh..." he cooed. "It'll be over soon."

Shea continued to groan, and Gerard finished, by wrapping a fresh bandage over her arm.

"See? All better." He kissed her arm over the cut and smirked, walking away to wash his hands.

"Thanks..." Shea said, and slid off the counter. They were in the bathroom on the bus.

"No problem. You know, you're going to need a doctor to stitch that up, if you want it to heal faster."

"I'd rather have a huge gash on my arm reminding me of what an idiot I've been." Shea replied flatly.

Gerard seemed to hesitate, then asked, "Shea... will you... will you tell me why you did it?"

Shea looked at her arm then up at Gerard, sighing. "I haven't even told Sam..."

Gerard took her in his arms and said softly, "It's okay... you can tell me..." ***

Unknowingly, Frank had fallen asleep, and Sam was deep in thought.

"Why... why... why did he... where... what..." she murmured, frustrated.

Frank was moaning softly, and Sam turned around, smiling. He opened an eye and smiled lazily back. "You okay?" he asked, still half asleep.

"I'll be fine." she said, and turned back around to murmur to herself.

"You're thinking about him, aren't you."

Shocked, Sam turned around. "What I think is none of your business."

"I can tell, Sam... I'm not blind. You poke at your scars frantically, you fidget when you're staring into space..." he trailed off, yawning.

Sam stared for a moment, then sighed. "You're right, Frank... I... I can't stop thinking about it..." Her eyes were filled with unshed tears.

Frank pulled her closer to him and hugged her tight. "Tell me..." he whispered. ***

Gerard stood, shocked, at what he had heard. "What a monster!" He finally said.

Shea nodded, and wiped her face with Gerard's shirt. He had been holding onto her the entire duration of the story, and Shea never wanted him to let her go.

He released her, much to her dismay, and started pacing. "Where is he?"

"He's dead." Shea said with no emotion.

"Serves him right after what he did to you." Gerard said coldly.

"He was still my father." Shea said defensively.

"He had no right to touch you." Gerard said.

"He was my father!" Shea whimpered.

"If he was still alive, I'd kill him." Gerard muttered.

Shea looked at Gerard, and sat back down on the counter. "I didn't want you to get involved..."

"I want to be." Gerard said, suddenly taking Shea's hands in his. "I need to be. I've got to be there for you when he wasn't... when you were crying, bleeding... in pain..." he kissed her hands. "Please, let me..."

Shea turned away and stared at her arm again. Gerard had selflessly mended it twice, and he was bound to do it again. The way he was acting, the look in his eyes, the love in his voice... she found it hard to turn away someone who she'd needed her whole life.

"This doesn't mean you're replacing Sam."

"Of course not." He said, and pulled her into a kiss.

***

Sam was about to tell Frank what was on her mind, when Gerard and Shea walked quietly out of the bathroom, hand in hand. Shea's face was wet with tears, and her makeup was running down her cheeks.

"Either that bandage put you in a shitload of pain, or... or you told him about your dad." Sam said to Shea.

"I told him." Shea said, her voice quivering, as she sat on the couch next to the ground where Frank and Sam sat, curled up.

"I still think he had it coming to him." Sam whispered.

"He was my father." Shea didn't want to defend her father anymore.

"Him being your father never was an excuse to fucking molest you day in and day out as a kid."

Shea didn't respond. Instead, she turned and laid her head on Gerard's lap.

He was looking down at Frank and Sam. "What happened, you two?"

"Oh, just another tickle fight." Sam said before Frank could open his mouth. He looked at her then nodded. "A very tiring tickle fight."

They all sat in silence, just thinking about all that had just happened. Frank looked very troubled; Sam sat, playing with his fingers, trying not to think about anything that had been absorbing her. Frank leaned in and whispered, "When you're done playing with my fingers... are you going to tell me?"

Sam continued to fiddle, then after a moment, whispered back, "I promise... I'll tell you tonight, when the others are asleep."

Frank nodded and let Sam continue her mindless finger game.

Shea had fallen asleep, and Gerard was twirling her hair in his fingers.

She suddenly opened her eyes, and said, "Damn, I'm fucking starved!!!"

Everyone laughed nervously, thankful that Shea decided to break the silence.

***

Half an hour later, the bus pulled up to a really fancy restaurant.

"Damn, Gerard... I was talking fast food, not five star..." Shea said in awe.

"Too bad. You deserve the best and I'm gonna give it to you." He said softly in her ear.

"C'mon."

"You should've told me it was this fancy.. I look like shit!" Sam mumbled to Frank.

He put his hands at her waist and walked behind her. "You look perfect. Let's go eat, ok? Don't worry about-"

Sam stopped suddenly. "Perfect? You must be kidding... I thought the best you'd say was 'You look fine' or 'Don't be stupid.' Perfect is going a little over the top. You're too sweet for your own good sometimes, Frank." Sam chuckled.

"Perfect is an understatement, to say the least." Frank said, smiling. "Let's go eat, and not another word about your past... until later.. okay?"

Sam formed a weak smile, nodded, and continued walking.

***

They stayed at that restaurant for two hours, eating, laughing, and toasting randomly to things such as "Barbeque sauce! Bless it!!" and "Toasters!"

The awkwardness and insecurity of that evening had completely left them, replaced by laughing, random blabbering, and poke-fests. They all left the restaurant drunk and insane.

"Ooo ooohhh!!" Sam squealed, staggering into Frank, laughing hysterically. "Let's play twister!!!"

Frank threw his head back and laughed. "Twister rocks!!!" He hiccupped.

Gerard chased Shea and picked her up, throwing her onto his back.

"Piggy back riiiide!" She laughed.

Gerard walked as best he could (which was horrible, to say the least) to the bus, and tossed Shea onto the couch, laughing loudly. He collapsed on top of her, and she laughed and poked at him. He rolled on his back and looked up at her. "Too much wiiiine..." he groaned.

"Oh, come now. You can NEVER have too much wine!" Shea hiccupped.

Frank and Sam took one look at Gerard, and burst out laughing once more.

"I can handle my alcohol better than your friend here!" Sam choked, pointing to Gerard.

He smirked at her spitefully, and turned his head to Shea. "I'm tired... I wanna go to bed. You stay here until you're calm enough." He started standing up.

"Awww...." Shea whined. "Can I just come lay with you?"

Gerard nodded and continued walking. Shea winked at Sam and Frank, and hopped up after him to the bunks.

Sam sighed smiling and plopped down onto the couch.

"So..." Frank murmured. "You gonna tell me now?"

Sam frowned; she had completely forgotten she was supposed to tell Frank. "When they're asleep, okay?"

Frank nodded, then said, "I'm gonna go rest for a while... it's been a long day..."

She watched him get up and walk to his bunk. She grinned to herself. "Damn he's got a nice ass..."

Sam stared at the clock for two hours; it was nearing midnight. She stood up and wandered back to the bunks, peering in to see if Frank had fallen asleep.

He had. He was laying on his side, eyes shut, and moaning a bit. Sam glanced at Gerard's bunk; Shea was on her back with her left arm flung across Gerard's chest. His left arm was hanging off the side of the bunk, and was drooling a bit. Sam shook her head, and silently climbed into Frank's bunk.

"Mmm..." he moaned, turning to her, his eyes still shut.

"Shh..." she said.

He slowly blinked open his eyes. "Woah... where did you come from?"

"I said I'd tell you, didn't I?"

Frank rubbed his eyes and looked at Sam. "Yeah..."

"So I'm going to tell you."

"Tell me what, exactly? What's been bothering you, right?"

Sam nodded. "That among other things. I'll tell you about Shea, too... just don't let her know."

He yawned and sat up. "Okay."

She looked down at her fingers for a moment then took a deep breath. "Okay, this is what has been bothering me... it's only been about a week and a half since he..." she looked up to him and he nodded knowingly. "Since he did that... and... I haven't been feeling well... so, I think..." she stopped and bit her lip, then said in a hurried whisper, "I think I might be pregnant."

***

"Mmmm..." Shea moaned in her sleep. "Gerarrrd..." Gerard opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow. What the hell is she dreaming about?

Shea licked her lips and turned to face him, her eyes tightly shut. "Mmmm..." Her arm flung out and it hit him square in the nose.

"Shit!" he hissed quietly.

Shea's eyes flew open. "Oh god, Gerard!!"

He sat up and was holding his nose. "I'm bleeding..." he stared down at his hand.

"Oh my god... did I do that?! Here, let me get a tissue..." she stumbled to get out of the bed, but ended up pushing Gerard off, landing on the floor on top of him.

"Fuck..." she muttered, getting off of him. "I am so clumsy when I'm half-asleep... damn my head hurts..." she stood up to get a tissue box.

Gerard was still holding his nose. "It's okay..." he took a tissue from the box she handed him and held it to his nose. Out of nowhere, he started chuckling.

"What's so funny?" she asked curiously.

"You were..." he laughed quietly. "You were moaning my name..."

She stared blankly at him, trying to recall her dreams. He saw her look down and blush.

"Right, that... well, I can't control my dreams..."

He laughed again. "Eh, don't worry about it." he climbed back into his bunk.

"I wanna go back to bed."

She stretched, bending backwards, and nodded, heading for a different bunk.

"Woah, where are you going?"

She stopped. "You said you wanted to go back to bed."

"Yeah, with you in it."

***

Frank stared at her with his jaw to the floor and his eyes threatening to pop out of the sockets.

Sam was staring down and picking furiously at her cuticles, then looked up at him. "It's not my fault, if that's what you're thinking!"

He shook his head and closed his mouth. "That's not what I was thinking... did you... get tested..?"

Sam shook her head and smiled weakly. "That's why I said I think I might be. But..." she looked up at the small window above Frank's pillow, tears filling every corner of her eyes. "What do I do if I am?"

Frank thought for a moment. "You haven't told the police yet, have you."

Sam looked at him in horror. "Of course not! He said he'd kill me and Shea if I ever told anyone! I'm as good as dead just informing you!" she buried her face in her hands.

"What am I gonna do.." she mumbled.

"You have to tell them, Sam..." he said quietly.

"He'll kill me!" she exclaimed.

"He will NOT kill you! Not as long as I'm here!" Frank said loudly, pulling her into his arms. She starting picking at her cuticles again. "Stop doing that."

She sniffed and looked up at him. "What do I have to do, Frank..."

"You have to tell the police in four days; on Saturday." she winced, but he continued.

"If you are pregnant..." he stopped and considered what he was going to say next. "Then, you're going to have it. And... I'll help."

She smiled at him, and for the first time, Frank could feel a huge burden lifted off her shoulders. He gently kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back.

Sam didn't cry the rest of the week.

***

Gerard woke up with Shea sprawled across him. "Mornin'." he mumbled.

Shea fluttered her eyes open, and squinted at the light streaming in through the blinds.

"Morning..."

The two walked out and sat on the couch. Frank was making omelettes, and Sam was just smiling at him like he was the only thing in the world that existed.

"Uhh.." Shea poked Sam in the side, and she giggled. "Morning, daydreamer."

"Morning, tiger." Sam winked at Shea, and she blushed, looking to Gerard, and biting her lip. He just smiled and looked at Sam, confused.

He waved his hand in her face, and she looked at him after a moment. "Eh??"

"What exactly did you two do last night?" he questioned.

"I think the real question to be answered here is; what did you two do last night?" she smirked, and he blushed, sitting down next to Shea.

"I told him." Sam whispered to Shea.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Not about you, silly! About me."

Shea nodded, then whispered back, "What'd he say?"

"I have to tell them."

"But didn't he say he'd kill us?!" Shea whispered nervously.

"He can't kill us with these guys around." Sam smiled at Frank, who had eggs all over his apron.

A few minutes later, Frank served everyone breakfast.

"God, good thing they sell vegetarien eggs at the market here." Sam said, taking a bite of her black olives and onions omelette.

"I know." Frank mumbled, with a mouthful of food.

They all ate silently, with the occasional clank of metal against china plates.

***

The next two days flew by, and Sam had forgotten about everything she'd been fussing about. Was she pregnant? She didn't care. What would she tell the police? She didn't care. All she cared about was that whatever did happen, Frank would be there, holding her hand the entire time.

***

Saturday morning came, and Sam sat up in bed. Everything flooded back to her; her ex boyfriend's torturous ways, the pregnancy question...

"Sam?" Frank groaned. "You have to tell them today."

She shook a bit, then nodded. "You're coming with me, right?"

He nodded. "Of course. We'll all go. We need Shea there anyway. And Gerard doesn't want you two going alone."

Sam swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and nodded, clutching to his shirt.

Within the next hour, all four of them had gotten up. It was around nine in the morning when Gerard had finished the last dirty dish, and said, "Time to go."

Sam choked and coughed, and Frank patted her lightly on the back. Shea handed her a water bottle. "It's gonna be okay, Sam." she said reassuringly. "We're all here for you."

Sam took a long sip of water, and looked at all of them; they were worried, clearly... concerned for her safety, and they all wanted it to end.

Gerard didn't know about Sam's suspicions about her being pregnant, and he wasn't going to find out until after they went to the police.

He told the driver where to go, and they sped off towards a local police station.

***

Sam inhaled deeply at the steps of the station. Frank took her hand and whispered in her ear, "I'm gonna be right next to you the whole time..."

She was determined to put that bastard in jail, so she stood up straight, and walked in with the other three.

They were told to sit in a room with a man called Mr. Varell. He was around six feet tall, balding grey hair, small tortoise-shell glasses and a huge, veiny nose that made every pore stand out.

Sam forced herself to stare at something other than Mr. Varell's nose. Finally, he spoke, after filling out a few papers. "Okay, so tell me... what exactly are you reporting?"

"Umm... several accounts of r-rape." Sam said quietly.

Mr. Varell nodded and scribbled something else down. "Name of rapist?"

"Jake Rodec." she seethed, gripping Frank's hand tight.

*****

Gerard and Shea were sitting in the waiting room, reading magazines. Shea laughed when she found one with their band on the cover. "You cutie!" she shoved the magazine in his face, and he chuckled. "Well, I can't help it..."

"Aww, you're so cute!" she squealed, flipping through the article.

He looked up at her and smiled. Maybe...

***

After about an hour of questioning and three boxes of Kleenex, Sam and Frank were escorted out of the room. A woman came up to Sam to talk to her.

"We know his location, where he works, and his cell phone number. The law requires some sort of proof, so if you would submit to some testing..."

Sam nodded. "Of course. When and where?"

The lady handed her a slip of paper. "Here, and it'll be the day after tomorrow." she walked off.

Sam looked at the paper. "Ah..."

"What is it?" Frank asked, peering over her shoulder.

"The same hospital Shea was at right after I found her..." she trailed off, looking up at where Shea and Gerard were sitting. "You know."

He nodded, and followed her to the waiting area.

"Come on, you two. Time to go." Sam said, heading for the door.

Shea giggled and put down the several magazines in her hands, all with MCR on the cover. She stood up and Gerard took her hand. They followed Sam and Frank out the door. Gerard couldn't help but think. She could be...

***

Back on the bus, the noise was at a minimum; Sam and Frank had fallen asleep, though it was only eleven in the morning.

"That must've been a tiring inquiry." Shea said to Gerard, as she sat on his lap with a book.

"I guess..." he looked at her as she began to read. Ask her, you idiot!

***

Frank was stirring, Sam could tell. She knew the others thought she was sound asleep. Turning to look at Frank, she smiled to herself, then sighed. What a morning...

Frank opened his eyes to see Sam staring at him. "Hey. You okay?"

Sam nodded and said, "Of course." she leaned in and kissed him. "Thanks for being there... I wouldn't have been able to do it.." she said, choking back tears. She took a deep breath and smiled at him again. "I really appreciate it. Now.. I... feel a lot better..."

He knew there was no need for words then. He just took her hands in his own and kissed them. She cuddled into his embrace, and Frank fell back asleep. Sam's mind was racing, her heart was pounding... in her dreams, the darkness engulfed her; she was screaming, she couldn't move, and there was pressure on her that wasn't supposed to be there...

"Stop!!!" she screamed in her dreams, through tears.

"Ask me for it," a male voice jeered.

"N-no..." she breathed, as she felt a new cut being placed on her neck. She screamed again.

"ASK ME!" he yelled, pushing the blade deeper.

"Jake!" she whimpered.

"Yes..." he cooed, running the cold side of the knife along the cuts. She winced again, and struggled. No... Her mind said.

"Jake...j-just do it..."

"Do what, baby..?" he whispered.

As if he didn't know!!

Sam bit her lip. It was a dream; but she could feel the blood trickling down her neck.

"Do you want me to start cutting lower?" Jake place the blade in the center of her chest. "Here, for example?"

Sam blinked back several tears; they ran down her cheeks and into the gashes on her neck, burning. "Fuck..." she mumbled.

"What?" Jake said.

"Fuck me..." she gasped, gripping the chains that she knew weren't coming off.

"As you wish." Jake grinned.

Don't!

Jake reached for his belt buckle...

Stop...

He tugged her belt and pants off, and she looked up into the darkness. It would be over soon, like it always was... every...night... before...

"STOP!!! PLEASE!!!" Sam screamed, sitting up in bed, breathing heavily.

"Sam!" Frank yelled. He was holding her tightly. "Sam... you're... you're fine... It's me... I'm here.." he said soothingly.

Sam was crying hard. "He... I... why?" she asked no one; she knew she'd never get an answer.

"Sam..." Frank whispered. He was holding onto her so tight, she felt like he'd never let her go. "Sam..." he said her name over and over, getting quieter each time. Sam stopped crying after a few minutes, her breathing slowed, and he lowered her back down, tucked them both in, but all the while, never let her go.

I'll kill that bastard.

Frank's voice echoed in Sam's mind, that he had told her what seemed an eternity ago.

He'll never touch you again.

The next two months went by so fast for the group. So much had happened. Shea and Gerard had been able to go out on several dates; one in particular stood out.

It was November 9th; Exactly three months since they had met. They had just ordered dinner, and Shea being vegetarien, ordered a baked potato with a side salad. Gerard had something important to ask Shea, so he decided against the steak and went with minestrone soup.

"Shea.. there's something I'd like to talk to you about.." Gerard said suddenly.

"Yup..?" Shea said, taking a long sip of her gingerale.

"Well, we've been seeing eachother for a couple months now... and.." Shea looked at Gerard, confused, but smiling. "Are you saying you want to... speed things up?"

Gerard raised his head to look at her. "Well..." he took out a small black box from his pocket and fiddled with it for a moment.

Shea stared, wide eyed at it. "Gerard, don't tell me you're proposing to me."

"What if I am?" He said, smirking.

Shea looked at him, confused. Her smile had faded. "There is... so much you don't know about me yet..." she said quietly.

Gerard opened the box and looked at the large diamond ring inside. "Well, then... just think of it as a promise ring until then." he turned the box around so she could see it.

"Oh my god..." she said breathlessly. "Gerard..." she looked up at him, smiling sincerely. She took his hand and said, "I promise. There will be a time for it. Just... not right now. I have to tell you everything."

He looked into her eyes and knew she was telling him the truth. He sighed. "I trust you."

"Just... promise me.." Shea began hestitantly. "Promise me that you won't change your mind once you've heard my life story. It's overwhelming and you might decide to back out."

Gerard looked offended. "Of course not! I love you, Shea. Nothing you say can change my mind."

***

Two months earlier...

"FRAAAAAANK!" Sam screamed, stumbling on her feet, staring at the pregnancy test that sat before her. "Frank!!!" she screamed again, her voice cracking. Frank came running into the bathroom, slipping on the tile. "Woah..! What is it?" He said, sitting up and rubbing his back.

"Frank... Frank Frank Frank.... Frank..." she giggled.

Frank looked at her and she smiled with her eyebrows raised.

"You're..."

She shook her head.

Frank picked her up and twirled her around. "You're not?!"

Sam shook her head again. "Nope. Fourth test I've taken; it can't be wrong, but Frank-"

Frank held her close. "Oh god..." he sighed, running his fingers through her hair. "You're not..."

"You didn't let me finish, Frank." Sam said, giggling.

Frank looked down at her. "What do you mean? You're not pregnant with his kid-"

"No, not his kid. anyway." Sam hinted.

Frank looked at her, wide-eyed. "What are you talking about?! I thought he... how is that possible?!" he asked, bewildered.

"I'm pregnant. When I first found out, I freaked out and called my doctor. He was kind enough to check for me, and pulled up Jake's records... he's physically incapable of impregnating a woman." she looked at him and smiled. "Frank..."

He just stood there, staring at her, his jaw to the floor.

"Frank...?" Sam asked. She had a small smile on her face, but it was slowly turning into a frown.

All of a sudden, Frank smiled and walked to Sam, gently lifting up her shirt and kissing her stomach.

"Frank..."

***

Gerard and Shea finished eating and headed back to the bus. They walked in silence for a while.

"Thanks for dinner," Shea said quietly, and Gerard took her hand.

"You're welcome." he said, grinning at her.

"Why're you lookin' at me all funny?" she asked, half giggling.

"No reason... you're just so cute!" he pinched her cheek. She laughed.

"Thanks..." she looked down at her left hand; Gerard had put the "promise ring" on her ring finger. "Just making sure, it's a pro-"

"Promise ring... I know, I know." Gerard cut in, sighing. "I can't wait forever, you know."

"I know, Gerard. That's why I'm going to tell you. As soon as those two are asleep." she pointed to the bus window, and the light was on. The closer they got to the bus, they could hear screaming and laughing.

"What are those two up to?" Gerard asked.

"Don't ask me..." Shea opened the door.

Sam was on top of Frank this tickle fight.

"Why're you two all giddy tonight?" Gerard chuckled.

Sam looked down at Frank and he nodded. "I'm pregnant."

Shea frowned. "So why're you happy?"

"It's not Jake's kid!" Frank said proudly.

Gerard dropped his leftovers on the counter loudly. "Holy shit Frank! When did that happen?"

"Oh come on, like you couldn't hear those two!" Shea laughed, playfully punching Gerard in the shoulder. He turned around and poked her. "I so could, but... I'm just... confused..."

"We'll tell you all about it later. Right now we wanna get some sleep..." Sam giggled at Frank and he grinned up at Gerard, who rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Shea wants to talk to me anyway."

Sam got up off of Frank and looked to Shea, and nodded. Her eyes moved down to the glint that was reflecting off of the light. "SHEA?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RING DOING ON YOUR FINGER?!" Sam asking grinning.

"It's a promise ring... don't jump to conclusions."

Frank looked at Gerard and gave him a sympathetic look. Gerard shrugged and smiled, then whispered, "She didn't say no OR yes." Frank nodded in understanding.

"Ahh... I see."

Sam yawned, hinting to Frank that she was ready for bed. "Well, goodnight you two..." Frank said quickly, and chased Sam back to the bunks.

***

Shea and Gerard looked at the black curtain that seperated the front of the bus from the bunks, then turned to look at eachother. Shea went over and sat next to Gerard, cuddling into his arms. "So..." Gerard said after a few moments of silence.

"Right.." Shea said, sitting up in his arms. "You want the long version or the short version?"

"Start with the short version and I'll ask for details later."

"Okay... well, basically, my mum stabbed my dad to death when I was six right in front of me, and when the police got there, this man took me and the last thing I saw was the police shooting my mum in the heart. I guess they must've mistaken the stirring spoon for a gun." She said coldly.

Gerard nodded and held onto her tighter. "You don't have to tell me if you want..."

"No... I'm telling you... but what I'm about to tell you, you'll freak."

Gerard shook his head. "Just talk, and I'll listen."

Shea looked up at the ceiling and laid her head on his lap. "I ran away from the policeman... he was about to put me in his car, and I screamed, kicked, cried, and ran away. I ran back into my house, up into the attic, into a room nobody knew existed but me, not even my folks.

"I hid in the corner, covered myself in a dusty blanket, and held my breath as I heard footsteps approach and pass the room. I heard voices, but I can't remember what they were saying. The next morning, I snuck downstairs although I didn't think there was anyone left, into the kitchen, and stepped over the bloodstains in the carpet. I tried not to cry until I got back into the attic... I had brought all of the food in the cabinet upstairs, and I just lost it completely. Imagine a six year old, nibbling on a piece of cheese, crying her eyes out in a dusty old attic, all alone...

"I stayed in the attic for about a day when I realized I was never going to live in there with all that dust and crap. I figured I was nearly seven, so why not try to grow up a bit, ya know? So I went downstairs and found a broom and a vacuum and heaved them upstairs to the attic. I wanted to stay there as long as I could, but I was six, so I had no idea I'd run out of food. I organized the place, shoving unnecessary boxes into a corner, which eventually became a mountain of useless shit. I dusted and vacuumed, coughing and wheezing. I remember finding a lot of mice but I learned to cope with them. They'd steal little crumbs of food but nothing important. I stayed there for about a month... just eating, crying... on my seventh birthday I tried to kill myself by jumping onto the box mountain, which toppled on me, every damn box. I got a huge bruise on my head and several other places and passed out for a day or two, but I didn't die. Then I found a knife but I just threw it out the window.

"About a week after I tried to kill myself, I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't know who it'd be; being the naive seven year old that I was... I thought it'd be my mom or dad, perfectly healthy, with open arms for me to run into...

"But it wasn't. I opened the door with a lot of trouble; I was only three and a half feet tall. I peered around the door, shaking terribly, and I saw Sam standing there in a Brownie uniform. She asked me if I'd like to buy some cookies and I said I have no money. Her mom looked over her shoulder and asked me if I lived there alone, and I nodded. She looked shocked. Then her mom offered for me to come stay with them, so I packed up what I could and left with them. I was seven; I didn't really have another choice and I couldn't stay there forever.

"I settled in quickly, and Sam and I became fast friends. When her mom started taking drugs, she became abusive. Sam lashed out at me and started drinking. Keep in mind we were fourteen when her mom did what she did.

"I hadn't been home in years... so one day when I was taking a walk when Sam had gone out drinking again, I ended up standing on my front porch. I had no idea how I ended up there, how I'd get back to Sam's place... so I went inside.

"I went to the kitchen and stared blankly at the blood stains. I remember telling myself, 'Bastards didn't even bother to clean this place up or look for me more than once.' I shook my head and walked to my old room. Everything was the way I'd left it... toys scattered everywhere, and I stepped on a doll. I can't believe that was ten years ago..." Shea said, shaking her head. Gerard was holding onto her tight, with his eyes shut, and wiped the tears from her face. She didn't realize she'd been crying.

"I started laughing... and tore my room apart. I threw the toys against the walls, smashed the lamp, pulled my bed sheets off and threw them out the window... and I remember just, sitting down in the middle of the mess, and crying...

"I ran out of the house, to where, I didn't know, but I ended up in the city. I had one man follow me into an alley, and he asked me 'How much?' I looked at him, confused, until I realized what he meant. Sam's mom had been neglecting us both. I had been meaning to get a job.. I didn't know this was the kind of job I'd get. 'Two hundred...?' I half said, half asked, not knowing how much to ask for. He looked at me as if I was kidding, then handed me three hundred dollar bills. 'You're cheap.'

"I remember just looking out into the dark as he did what he wanted, just thinking of what he'd told me. You're cheap... It echoed in my head like a virus, and I started to cry when he started getting rough with me. He told me to shut up and he'd pay me more, so I shut my mouth and screamed at myself from the inside. Is this what you've become? A fourteen year old prostitute?! What would Sam think..." Shea looked up at Gerard, who was apparently shocked at the news she'd been a prostitute. He nodded, still a bit shocked, but she knew she had to finish. She loved him too much to not tell him. And he had to know.

"I sat on the side of the road, squeezing my legs together. It'd hurt since I was a virgin, but I didn't care. I clutched the money to my chest, stood up, wiped the tears from my eyes, and ran. I ran back to the neighborhood, back to Sam's house. It was four in the morning when I climbed into bed. Sam climbed in through the window and asked me why I was bleeding. I cupped my hand over her mouth and told her where I'd been, what I did... then I held up the money and grinned. 'I could do this, Sam.' She just shook her head, and backed away, without saying anything. She turned around and ran to her room. I swear I remember hearing her crying... then when I went in there the next day, she'd cut her wrists deep, and was sitting in the middle of the floor in front of a large circle of blood. She looked at me coldly and stood up, slamming her door in my face.

"I went back to my own room, and decided I would continue to do what I had to do. Sam knew that I was doing it; she was really suspicious from the time I started at fourteen until the time I stopped... eight months ago.

"Now... this is what you might... hate me... for..." Shea looked down at her arm, but Gerard just whispered, "You've got to finish..." and she nodded.

"Well the reason I cut my arm... I had just gotten back from the doctor... and you know, I was a prostitute of nine years, so I was bound to have something happen... And something did happen. Last year, I got pregnant. And I had gotten home from an ultrasound. The doctor told me the most horrible news... the baby wouldn't.. wouldn't make it..." she choked back tears, but Gerard just held her tighter. "I'm here..."

"I've got to finish... and... what happened... the next time I went to the doctor... he... he told me.. it died!" she coughed. "And I blamed it all on my parents! If... if my mum didn't kill my dad... I wouldn't... I wouldn't have.... and..."

Gerard kissed her neck. "It's okay...shh..." he cooed. "So that was the short version, eh..."

Shea sat in his arms, crying silently so she wouldn't wake up Frank and Sam, although she doubted they were asleep, judging from the pounding and moaning coming from the back of the bus.

"So.. the answer.." Shea started. Gerard looked at her and raised an eyebrow, confused. "Is yes..."

Gerard stared blankly at Shea for a moment, then realized what she was saying. "Yes?!" he asked, startled.

Shea nodded, and smiled weakly, wiping tears from her face. "I suppose I'll marry you."

Gerard and Frank had managed to convince the other guys to let Sam and Shea stay with them for a few months... to be exact, about seven months. Sam may have been three months pregnant, leaving only six months left...

One month after Sam discovered she was pregnant, Shea woke up one morning, nauseous as ever, next to Gerard.

"Gerard..." she moaned. "I don't feel so good..."

"Mmhnn..." he mumbled, and turned over. "Why not...?"

"I dunno.." she said, sitting up. "I'm going to the bathroom..."

Shea walked dizzily to the bathroom, and leaned on the sink. She looked up into the mirror. "Holy shit!" she cussed softly. Her face was pale; she had huge bags under her eyes; she looked like a zombie.

"You okay?" Sam said lazily, waltzing into the bathroom behind her.

"I'm nausous... and I look like shit..." Shea mumbled.

Sam thought for a minute. "Nauseous? I feel the same way..." she started rubbing her stomach and looked up at Shea curiously.

"Nah... you can't be thinking..." Shea stopped, looking at Sam. Sam shrugged and pulled open a drawer. "Try it." she handed a pregnancy test to Shea.

Shea rolled her eyes. "No, I've just got the flu, okay?" she started to turn around before she began to see stars. "Oh..." she stumbled and leaned against the wall.

Looking at Sam, she tore the package out of her hands. "Just because you say so, okay?"

Sam held her hands up defensivley. "Just gotta rule everything out."

"Whatever." Shea said, and pushed Sam out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

***

"I think Shea's pregnant." Sam whispered to Frank when she crawled back into the bunk.

"What?!" Frank said, sitting up and hitting his head on the ceiling. "Ouch..." Sam giggled, and rubbed his head with the palm of her hand. "Yeah. I don't know for sure, but she's been acting really strange lately. I mean, what's with her sudden urge for pickles? I've always liked pickles, so that wasn't a sign for me. Shea's always turned down pickles. I don't think I've ever seen her eat one."

Frank thought for a minute. "Gerard wouldn't take it too easy." Sam nodded. "I know." she sighed, and looked warily to the bunk across from them, where Gerard lay turned on his side, facing the window. "I know."

***

Shea shook her head. No.

She turned back around. No... She took one last look at the small test that lay in her hand. This was by far the most important test she's ever aced in her life. How am I gonna tell him...

***

Sam sat up suddenly and got out of bed. "Time for breakfast, sleepy heads!" she said loudly, waking up all but Ray on the bus. She rolled her eyes. "Come onnnn! I'm starved. And you know what happened last time I tried to cook!"

Frank hopped out of bed. "How could I forget." You nearly lit the entire front of the bus on fire.

Gerard rolled over on his back. He threw his eyes open. "Where's Shea?!" he asked, stumbling out of bed and pulling on his pants.

Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Shh, she's okay. She's in the bathroom."

Gerard sighed and nodded. "Sorry. I had... a horrible nightmare..."

"So did I." Sam said under her breath.

Mikey and Bob sat down on the black leather couch. "Okay, Breakfast Monkey..." Sam said to Gerard. "What's for brekky?"

Gerard looked at her funny, then smiled. "Ohhh THAT Breakfast Monkey... how could I forget?" He shook his head and walked to the fridge. "Muffins, anyone?" He pulled out milk and butter. Sam squealed in approval as Shea walked out of the bathroom.

Her silver bathrobe was askew, revealing most of her chest and legs. Her hair was a mess and parted the wrong way, and her eyes were partly closed.

"Shea...?" Gerard asked, walking over to her to help her sit down and cover her up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm pregnant." she said bluntly and silenced the bus. Sam continued to read a magazine; this was not a surprise to her.

"You're what?!" Gerard yelled.

Shea flinched. "I have to leave." she said, and stood up, only to stumble back onto the couch in tears. "Dammit..."

"Woah woah woah, you're not leavin, sweetie." Gerard said, sitting next to her. "It's okay... I... I didn't mean it like that..." Shea mumbled something about being a "single mother" and leaned on Gerard. "I don't want it." She whispered.

Mikey and Bob had started a conversation, figuring that was the least privacy they could give the couple without leaving the muffins they wanted so badly.

"Of course you want it... I want it... WE want it..." Gerard said softly, pulling her into his arms. She cried into his chest. "I really don't want it...!"

"Yes, you do, you dumbass." Sam said loudly. "You want it, so shut up and eat your breakfast. You said you always wanted to have a baby at the same time as me; here's your only chance."

Shea looked up and stared at Sam. She shook her head. "I can't... he doesn't..."

"Yes, I do." Gerard said firmly. "Why wouldn't I?"

"We're not married yet, and-"

"Neither are we." Sam said, looking at Frank. He smiled. "Well, not yet." Sam rolled her eyes. She knew she didn't want a dramatic proposal; if they didn't get married for a long time, she'd be happy. She never imagined falling in love with a rock star. "Our kids can grow up together."

Shea continued to shake her head. "But..." she looked to Gerard for words.

"I...wow, I love your eyes..." she smiled and looked down. "Whatever."

Sam giggled. Stubborn Shea, as usual. "Thatta girl. Now, go have your pickles." Sam winked. Frank sat down next to Sam, and she nuzzled into his arm. "No more tickle fights?"

He looked at her. "I can't guarantee anything." He smirked.

She looked at him, shocked. "No fair!!"

"No one ever said life would be fair."

Sam looked to Shea. At these words, she understood. I want it to have what I didn't have....

Shea looked up at Gerard.

I want it to have what we can give it. Together.

~FIN~