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Gerard's POV

I woke up, sweating. I had been dreaming about him again...Mikey. My younger brother, my best friend...who I loved too much. I loved him in the wrong way.

In my dream, he had admitted his similar feelings for me...impossible...and we made love for hours...impossible. And in the dream, everyone had accepted us...also impossible.

I shook myself for being so foolish, and glanced at the clock-it was 9:00. I sighed- much too early-but dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, hoping maybe that it would wash away more than sweat...that it would wash away my feelings.

Pushing open the door of the large, two-fauceted shower, I turned on the hot water and let it sink in, soothing and relaxing my tense muscles. Sleep was supposed to be for rejuvenating, but with the kinds of dreams I had, wakefulness was more restful than sleep. Sometimes, with the help of a powerful sleep-inductive drug I could knock myself into oblivion, but I awoke with a headache similar to that over a hangover.

Unbidden, my thoughts started to turn to Mikey again. I never knew how do deal with these dreams, and usually moped for at least an hour, sometimes crying. I shut my mouth tight, not letting the smallest piece of evidence escape that I was sobbing silently.

Mikey's POV

I saw Gerard get up, and head down the hallway. He looked upset, and it pained me to see such a pained expression on his beautiful face...

I monitored him all the time without him knowing. I knew when he got up, when he ate, and when he went to sleep...and when I could safely look at him without him thinking I thought of him as anything other than a brother.

I loved everything about him; the way he was such a sincere, sweet person, and how beautiful his face was, and how soft his long, black hair looked...no one knew Gerard as well as I did.

The clock by my bedside read 9:05. I unwillingly dragged my body out of bed, knowing I had a doctor's appointment at 9:30, and was already barely going to make it, and not going to be eating breakfast. I had to plan my morning out quickly- ten minutes for a shower, five to get dry and dressed, which leaves ten to get to the doctor's office...I might make it.

Welcome to my life, I thought to the nonexistent audience. All of my mornings were like this, hurried and stressed, not helped by my less-than-restful nights, plagued with dreams of the forbidden fruit of the Eden of my own incestuous mind.

I walked quickly to the bathroom, determined to keep to my schedule on this soon-to-be-hectic morning. On my way there, I grabbed a clean towel from the closet and swung it over my shoulder, a l‡ Emeril from Food Network. When I opened the door, however, it was already steamy in there. Blushing, I quickly stepped backwards out of the door at began to swing it closed.

Gerard's POV

I heard the door open, and rubbed the glass shower door, clearing away some of the steam as to better see who had come in. Quickly realizing that it was Mikey, with a towel slung on his shoulder, I blushed, as he quickly backed out.

Oh, he has that doctor's appointment. Damn, I shouldn't have taken the shower, we can't have my little asthmatic getting sick, I thought, realizing that Mikey was in a hurry.

'Mikey!' I called, before he could completely shut the door. The glass had already fogged over again, so I rubbed my arm against it.

'Yeah?' He said, sticking only his head around the almost closed door. He's so adorable.

'You're in a hurry, right?' I was only confirming. 'A doctor's appointment?'

'Mhmm.'

'W-well...I know you have to take a shower, and this one's pretty big, and has two taps...' I trailed off, hoping he would understand that it was only a brotherly gesture, and wondering if it actually was, myself.

'Ah...sure,' he responded, with a weird look on his face that I didn't know how to read.

He cautiously undressed, and I was careful to look away...well, at least when he was looking. When he was completely naked- fuck, that's hot-he stepped into the shower on the other side, using the other faucet.

We stood in silence, and I tried my best to keep my thoughts on the shower and not on the fact that the one I was obsessed with was standing a few inches behind me, completely naked and soaking wet.

When he reached over to get the shampoo, his head turned, and his hair brushed the back of my neck. I moaned, but I closed my mouth as tightly as I could to block the noise. Dead kittens, needles, naked old ladies...I thought, trying to clear my head of any arousing thoughts...genocide, naked Mikey right behind you, mud, snakes, naked Mikey!!! - It wasn't working.

He was scrubbing his brown hair, now dark brown from the water, with the shampoo, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see his arms, and the bubbles...

I began to moan again, loudly, but covered it up by pretending to cough. The fake cough actually developed into a real one- I hate it when that happens-and I had to use one of my arms for support against the wall as I coughed loudly.

Rather ironic, that the non-asthmatic is hacking over here , I thought.

Mikey's POV

Gerard was coughing, and I couldn't tell if it was fake or not. Using it as an excuse, I reached over; my hair still filled with the shampoo bubbles, and rubbed his back until he stopped coughing.

When I touched his back, a jolt of electricity seemed to run up through my whole body, and I quickly jerked it away.

He reached for the shampoo, then, and accidentally brushed his nails across my back. I shivered, and bit my lip to stifle the small moan that threatened to let him know how I felt about him, and I didn't want to ruin this moment...even if it wasn't quite the moment I wanted, it was as close as I could ever get.

I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair slowly, trying to make this shower last as long as I could.

Remembering how good it felt when his fingers had touched my skin, I did something extremely stupid, and risky. Reaching for the bar of soap, I dropped it, and subtly maneuvered it so it was under my feet. Taking a breath, disbelieving of how far I was going to get his attention, I stepped on the bar of soap and slipped, hoping to god that Gerard would catch me.

Gerard's POV

I heard a gasp as my fingers touched his back, and wanted to make him gasp more... ugh, so hot...

Looking guiltily out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mikey falling, having slipped on the bar of soap.

'Fuck!' I yelled, and quickly jumped over to catch him before he cracked his head on the tile. I caught him just in time, one hand in his upper back, and one...lower. I quickly moved it, but not before I heard an audible gasp, and...a whimper?

I looked into his eyes, seeing a quick flash of triumph, masked then by relief, and something else...I didn't even want to name it, because if I did admit to myself that I was imagining things, I might do something stupid...

Lust. Okay, you think you saw lust in your baby brother's eyes. You need some fucking help, Gerard , I thought as I gently helped Mikey back up, bending over to pick up the bar of soap and hand it to him.

I sadly turned back around, before feeling the brush of his lips against the nape of my neck.

I swung my head around quickly, and saw Mikey staring at me, with what could definitely be described as lust in his eyes.

'M-Mikey? What are you doing?' I asked, disbelieving.

'I love you,' he answered. Three words. Three simple words that were the only three words I ever wanted to hear, said by the only person I wanted to hear saying them.

'I love you. I love you. I love you,' he repeated, nibbling at my neck in between phrases. He dug his fingers into my hips and pulled me closer.

The hot water still beat down on us, but it was no where near as hot as Mikey, and what he was doing now...if you'll pardon the pun.

He nuzzled his head into my neck, and it was my turn to ravish his shoulders, neck and face with kisses and bites.

'Gerard...' I'm making my little brother moan my name. Wrong? Fuck yeah. Hot? Fuck yeah. I was now officially turned on.

I pulled his face up and pressed my lips against his, and sucked his lip into my mouth, and began biting it, relishing the metallic taste of his blood. He whimpered, and I bit my own lip in response, the blood now flowing freely from both our lips, into both our mouths.

Mikey's POV

I was so glad that I finally made the first move

Of course, it's not like I had any control over it. It was all my bodies doing as I kissed his neck as he turned away. My brain had finally shut down, and left the decisions to my heart.

'I love you. I love you. I love you,' I murmured to him while biting his neck, and pulling him closer to be, by his hips.

He began to press his lips softly against my neck, and face...ohhhh, that was hot. I moaned his name, encouraging him, and laced my fingers through his hair, slightly tugging. He pulled my face up to his and began biting my lip, and his. I could taste him blood, my blood... our blood flow together, and into both of our mouths.

I pulled away to take a breath and Gerard looked at me. 'I love you, too, Mikey,' he said before running his finger down the side of my face gently, making me shiver.

Gerard's POV

Mikey was so beautiful, and I had to stop for a moment to take it all in. I traced his features with my finger, along his high cheekbones and delicate nose, to his full, pouting lips. It was too much, I was too ugly.

I turned away. 'Don't do that,' he whispered, and cupped my face with his hand, turning my head back to face him. 'You're gorgeous, and don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not, not even yourself.'

I smiled at him, and pulled him against me again, dragging my fingernails along his chest, eliciting little gasps. I let my hand brush over his nipple, causing a sharp, loud, pant.

I groaned, just from hearing it, and he wrapped my hands around my chest and began slowly running his nails down my back, getting harder and harder, and while doing this he bit my neck, just hard enough to draw blood, and lapped it up, purring. I could hear my breathing getting more ragged, and my eyes were closed.

My heart was pounding as I felt his fingers getting lower as he himself must have been, and I whimpered softly as I felt his breath on my thigh. He stayed like that for a moment, making my heart rate speed up, torturing me.

I moaned when he took me into his mouth, and for a moment thought myself sick, that my own brother- nah, doesn't matter. Like I said, it only lasted a moment, as the feeling was unbelievable.

After what felt like an eternity, I could feel my impending orgasm---and as if he were sensing it, Mikey pulled away and stood up, looking at me with a wolfish grin.

I gasped at lack of contact, and could almost feel tears of frustration welling in my eyes, before Mikey grabbed me by the hips again, his nails digging into my skin, and turned me around.

I quickly understood, as Mikey began kissing my shoulders and back, while slowly entering me.

I panted his name, and he sped up, his rhythm getting faster and faster, as he grabbed me with his hand, and started quickly stroking.

'Mikey...!' I said loudly, as I could feel my orgasm coming again, and came almost as Mikey did.

He pulled out of me, and we both sat down, still in the shower with water all over us, exhausted from exertion.

'I...love...you,' he said, and I leaned over and languidly kissed him.

'You missed your doctor's appointment, babe,' I said teasingly, while reaching up to turn off the water, leaving only our bodies to keep us warm.

'But Gee,' he pouted. 'I got something better.' He snuggled up to me, his arms wrapped tightly around my still heaving chest.

'I got you.'