Disclaimer: I do not own Frank and Gerard. I know they would never fall in love and do this stuff. I just write so don't sue me please.

***

You were so cold. No heartbeat beat inside your frail chest. Your shirt was crusted with deep red blood and soaked in tears and snow. Your eyes were shut gracefully against your now ghost white skin. Your lifeless fingers laced with mine. Your head laid lightly against my denim covered legs. You were gone, but I sat there anyway, stroking your black hair, studying every detail of your face I never realized before. Little things like how your nose ring glimmered, shining a tiny rainbow on your skin. Tears of pain stung my eyes, but I promised you I wouldn't cry. So I didn't. I leaned on my head on the cold, wet brick wall of the alley, looking up at the moonlit midnight sky. I felt betrayed, knowing who took you away from me.

23 hours earlier....

You stepped up to my house, but you didn't need to knock. I was out the door right as you stepped up to it. We kept our relationship hush-hush. How could it end like this? We walked to the local coffee shop. We sat on the red pleather seats away from the window, holding hands underneath the table, playing footsie, stuff lovers did. It ws almost Christmas and you told me you had a gift both of us could share. I begged you to tell me, but you kept your mouth tightly shut about it. We had to keep quiet about us. About me and you. We knew the crime rate here, especially against gays and bisexuals. It's too late now. No one knew. Except one person... We were together so that's all that mattered. We stepped out of the coffee shop and started roaming the city, ocassionaly stopping in the front of a store window to look at a scarf or a pair of shoes. Along the walk, your warm mittened hand would brush against mine as an excuse to touch me in someway while we were in public wihout giving anything away. I would laugh silently everytime, letting you know I enjoyed. I did enjoy it. I enjoyed ever moment with you. I still enjoy it. Even in death.

I laughed as you squealed, pointing to an ice cream shop barren and empty, but still open. " Gerard, let's go get some ice cream!" I insisted it was too cold for ice cream, it being 30 degrees outside. But you grabbed my hand like a little kid anyway and dragged me inside, despite the cold air whipping around us. You were so cute when you wanted something. The glimmer in your eyes made me feel warm. We got our ice cream. Well, your ice cream really. I didn't get any, fearing I might get brain frezze. I forgot what you got. I wish I would've remembered. All I remember was how you ate it all down without any trouble and the people staring at you. It is a strange sight seeing a person eating ice cream in the winter after all. You didn't care. You liked being dfferent. Pulling yourself away from the group. From the puppet master's stage. You wore the word 'outcast' like a badge and you didn't care. Maybe that's why I loved you. You were so up-beat. Ready for the world. You were ready for us. As you ate your ice cream, you told me that we could run away to Canada. Gay marriages were allowed and, I quote you, " You can 'eh' at the end of a sentence and not sound like an idiot." I laugh at that now.

We left the ice cream parlor. You were happy. Smiling like a small child. Your smile was so breathtaking. Your stunning, Italian, hazel eyes shined with joy. It was late now. About six 'o clock. Me and you insisted on going to see a movie, where no one could see us in the pitch black of the theater or hear us through the roar of the movie. You were happy about that. I was glad it was your idea. You always had ideas for us. You were the smart one. We stepped into the theater, which was a sigh of relief from the cold December air outside. I insisted on buying the snacks, which you protested at first because I had bought your ice cream, but I kept on insisting I needed to. You adimitted defeat. I should've have let you pay because when I paid, you lost some sparkle in your eyes, making me sad. I regret doing it now. We went to the movie where you snuggled into my chest. Of course we saw a scary movie. Again, it was your idea. You wanted an excuse you to hold me and me to hold you, which I didn't mind. The movie ended, but I didn't want it to. I checked my watch. Eleven twenty two. We left the theater. You, happy as a clam, bounced along next to me, hitting my shoulder ocassionaly, on purpose. No one was out at this point on the streets. Or so I thought. You knew that everyone was gone. You stopped in front of an alleyway between an old laundrymat and some closed down place which I didn't reconize(sp?) and looked at me, smirking devishly. I asked you what was the matter. You continued to smirk and pulled me into the alleyway by my black scarf. I asked why we were in there. You shushed me by putting two fingers to my lips." I thought I heard someone out there" That not what you heard. You heard your heatbeat and your hormones screaming my name inside of you. I rolled my eyes. I told you we couldn't do that here. Not in front of the whole community. I told you it was dangerous. Why didn't you listen?You sighed. " Oh fine..." You whined. It was too late. We turned to see what I feared. A man with a gun aimed at you. But this wasn't any man. I knew this man. Mikey. My own flesh and blood stood there, a gun in his hand, pointing to barrel of the gun at you. You just stood there shocked.

" Gerard. I'm letting you give yourself up for him. What would Mom think, huh?" I told him I didn't care what Mom thought. For all I cared, Mom could kiss my ass if she didn't like it. " I'm ending it here, Gerard." And that's when it happened. It was a slight blur of noise. Bang, yelp, thud, the crunch of snow beneath his feet. You fell into my arms. You were dying.

" Gerard..." you wheezed. " Look in my pocket. It's our gift for Christmas." I dug in your pocket and pulled out a map of Canada and two tickets. I opened the map to see a red heart lined with marker around a small city in Ottawa. I told you you weren't gonna die. I told you I was gonna get help. But you wouldn't let go of me. " Gerard. I'm not gonna die. I'm going to Canada. Just meet me there, okay?" I told him I wanted to go with him now. You shook your head. " Just meet me there. You'll find me. Please don't cry for me." I bite my bottom lip, surpressing tears. I sat and laid your head on my lap. I leaned down and kissed him one last time. " I love you Gerard. Remember that..." And then you died.

I have the map laid out on your chest, tracing the heart with my finger. I have the tickets tightly clenched in my right hand. I don't know if I can go without you for the fear of bringing me tears. But I'm goning to do it anyway. And I'll meet you there. And that's a promise. -FIN-