Disclaimer: Still don't own anything MCR, though it would be awesome if they read this ^_^ Even better if they liked it ^_^_^_^
Email: EverNight1788@hotmail.com

***

Twelve years later

Gerard scanned the seething mass of kids with a satisfied smile, thinking about how far they had all come since their basement days. He pushed a hand back through his near-white hair. Lilith wouldn't have liked it; she had always said that she loved his ebon locks, that he looked like a Gothic angel. Still, she would have been happy for them all just the same.

"New York!" Gerard roared into the mic. "Scream for me!" The crowd gladly obliged, splitting the sky with their delighted shrieks. Gerard grinned, sweat already trickling down his temples. They roared into the set, thrilling the fans with "Welcome to the Black Parade", "Dead!", "House of Wolves", and "Mama" before Gerard, catching his breath, addressed the crowd:

"Today," he said, "is kind of a sad day for us. Because twelve years ago, one of our closest friends was taken away from us forever." He broke off for a moment to let the crowd react to this. "Her name was Lilith Corbin, and we loved her very much, and I'm gonna sing you this song for her right now. This song is called 'How I Disappear'. And I want you to scream and sing and dance, so that she can fucking hear you wherever she is!" The crowd cheered as the music played and Gerard sang with renewed passion, imagining Lilith listening from wherever she was. He could almost see her smiling at him. He threw his head back with a pained expression on his face, reaching for the sky as he wailed:

"Can you hear me cry out to you

words I thought I'd choke on?

Figure out

I'm really not so with you anymore,

I'm just a ghost

so I can't hurt you anymore,

so I can't hurt you anymore!"

Tears streamed down Gerard's face, but he kept singing. Even after twelve years, it was still hard to believe that Lilith was dead. He still wondered where her body was, since it was never found and her father continued to insist that he had nothing to do with her death. No one believed him, of course, but it didn't make things any easier.

The song came to its end and the crowd exploded with cheers and screams. Gerard smiled, but it was a little forced. He turned away on the pretense of getting a drink, but really so the fans wouldn't see his face fall. Suddenly he didn't want to sing anymore. He didn't want to be on the stage. He just wanted to be somewhere alone, somewhere quiet so he could think about Lili. He remembered her sitting in on Ray Gun Jones rehearsals. She had been their biggest fan. He wanted her to be there with him, or at least in the crowd cheering him on. He wanted her back.

'Giving up just like that? C'mon Gerry, you know better!' chided Lilith's voice in Gerard's head.

Gerard half-smiled. "It's just been so hard, y'know?" he said softly, carefully avoiding the mic.

'Yeah, I know,' Lilith agreed. 'But you promised me you'd get by, remember? We had such great dreams; you promised that you'd make them come true. Are you gonna give up on me now? You've come so far, all of you! Don't get yourself down just 'cus of me, all right? Now you turn that pretty ass around and you rock the house, do you understand? And show me that crooked smile I love so much!'

Gerard grinned now, feeling better. "All right, Lil," he muttered, straightening. "All right! ALL RIGHT!" he bellowed into the mic, spinning around. Mikey smiled at him comfortingly. The rest of the set was full of fire. There was a palpable passion in Gerard's voice and the music that accompanied him. The band was exhausted but very happy when the show finally came to its inevitable end. As they cleared the stage, Mikey slung his arm around his brother's shoulders.

"She loved it," he said. "You know she did." Gerard just smiled tiredly and squeezed Mikey's hand.

"Wanna go for a walk?" he asked.

"Sure," replied Mikey. Walking was good for clearing one's head, so about twenty minutes later the brothers Way were strolling through Central Park. They had gone back to their hotel long enough to shower and change into street clothes so they wouldn't stick out too much. They didn't talk much; what was there to say? It was the twelve-year anniversary of their mutual best friend's murder and they had just played a concert in her name. That had been hard enough without discussing it. But Mikey knew that Gerard needed to talk, or be talked to. He was suffering even more because he had never told Lilith how he felt about her, and learned that she returned his feelings. Finally, the silence became too much.

"Listen Gee " Mikey began, but Gerard raised his hand to stop him, looking up with a curious frown.

"Do you hear someone singing?" he asked. Mikey listened. There was someone singing somewhere in the distance.

"Yeah, I do," he said. "It's nice. She has a good voice. But Gerard-"

"I want to see who it is," Gerard said, not apparently hearing his brother. Mikey sighed, but followed Gerard anyway, listening to the mournful lyrics:

"The moon was a crimson pearl of blood

Overshadowing the pitch-black night

Her precious life flowed in a thick, red flood

Dark-eyed angels cried at the horrifying sight "

The brothers followed the impassioned voice deeper into Central Park, curious. The song was so sad, and yet it seemed that its story was familiar somehow. And the voice itself they had heard that voice before. But whose was it? They couldn't remember.

"Reach for me, call out my name!

Try to make me want to stay

It doesn't matter what you say

Nothing will ever be the same

Now that I'm dead "

Mikey touched Gerard's arm and pointed into the distance. There was a small stage set up where a young woman was singing, her face full of emotion, her long-fingered hands gripping the microphone tightly. Her eyes were shut tight as she sang, tears still leaking from them slowly. Both Mikey and Gerard watched the young woman thoughtfully. There was something so familiar about her, the way she sang, the lyrics of her sad song who was she, anyway?

The singer opened her eyes, brushing away her tears before flinging out her arms to the cheers of her audience after her song ended. Gerard and Mikey maneuvered their way up to the front of the crowd, trying to get a better look at this woman. She smiled as she fixed the mic back in its stand.

"Thank you all very much," she said, her intensely blue eyes scanning the crowd. When they fell on the Way brothers, they widened in shocked disbelief. She stared at the young men wonderingly before quickly saying, "Uh, thank you all for coming out, I'll see you next time!" and going off the stage. As the crowd dispersed and the Ways started to leave, they heard the woman call, "Gerry, Mikey, wait!" Startled, they turned back to see the singer jogging towards them, ebony hair tiger-striped with white flying out behind her.

"Did did you just call me 'Gerry'?" asked Gerard.

"I did," the young woman confirmed. Staring at them, she asked softly, "Have you really forgotten me?"

"Not to be rude or anything, but who are you?" asked Mikey, confused. The woman didn't answer, but rubbed her eyes, taking out the blue contact lenses she wore, and looked up at them again. The men stared: her eyes were violet.

"Li Lilith?!" gasped Gerard, his eyes wide. The young woman - Lilith - smiled sadly and nodded. There was no mistaking it: there was a scar through her left eyebrow that Lilith had had from falling and cutting herself on a rock as a child. It was definitely her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry." The two men cried out at once and clasped their old friend tightly in their arms. Lilith locked her slender arms around each of the Ways' necks, laughing and crying for joy. "I'm so happy to see you guys, I thought I'd never see you again. Oh Gerry, your hair, what did you do to your hair? Oh who the hell cares, I'm just so glad to see you!" The trio just stood together for a time in silence, aside from their overjoyed laughter and tears. Finally they stepped apart slightly to see each other better.

"Lilith, how-" began Gerard, but Lilith quickly put a finger to her lips.

"It's Nicole now," she said quickly. "I changed my name. There's too much to explain now, like this. I am inexpressibly happy to see you two, truly I am, but explanations would just dampen the mood. I promised I'll tell you, but can it wait until tomorrow? Please?"

"Of course it can," said Gerard, giving Lilith a squeeze. "It doesn't matter, you're alive! I can't believe it! Am I dreaming?"

"Not unless I'm having the same great dream," Mikey said, also hugging Lilith, who laughed. The brothers looked at her closely. She had grown from a gawky, insecure teen covered in bruises and blood into a beautiful woman. Her amethyst eyes sparkled and danced as she looked at her old friends.

"Oh Mikey, your glasses " she said softly, smiling. "I could hardly believe it when I saw the magazines showing your new look."

"Yeah, people are still upset about the glasses thing," Gerard laughed.

"Yeah, I don't get it," said Mikey with a shrug.

"It's because you look so angry without your glasses," Lilith said. Mikey blinked in surprise. Lilith smiled. "You really do. You look pissed at the world, and it seems like you don't smile as much."

"Oh!" said Mikey. "I guess I didn't realize that. Didn't even think about it."

Now Lilith shrugged, then smiled warmly. "You've done it, guys! You're living our dreams! I knew you wouldn't break your promise!"

Gerard remembered Lilith's voice in his head earlier. "You never broke your promises to us; all we could do was return the courtesy."

"Oh Gerry," sighed Lilith, hugging him again and brushing a friendly kiss against his cheek. "I'm so sorry, I really am, but I had to do what I did. Like I said, I promise I'll explain when I see you tomorrow."

"Where will we see you?" asked Gerard.

"Here," replied Lilith, taking a business card out of her pocket and handing it to him. "I have to go now, though I really don't want to, but I swear I'll be at that address tomorrow."

"No," said Mikey, pleadingly. "Stay with us, please. Come to the hotel with us; the rest of the guys will be so happy to see you."

"Mikes, you have no idea how much I want to," said Lilith sadly. "But there are still complications in my life that I can't explain. But you know I wouldn't leave if I didn't have to." The brothers had to agree that this was true. They hugged tightly one last time, and Lilith kissed each of them goodbye before smiling at them and walking away slowly, singing "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" as she walked.

Mikey and Gerard returned to their hotel room, happier than they had been in twelve years. They could hardly sleep that night for excitement at seeing Lilith again. The rest of the band didn't quite understand it, since the brothers didn't mention Lilith, but they decided that it wasn't a bad thing. The next day they all drove to the address on the card Lilith had given Gerard first thing in the morning. They were confused, though, as they pulled up the long drive of a horse farm outside of New York City. They had followed the directions Lilith had given them, but why would she send them to a farm?

"Just trust her," said Gerard, sensing his friends' thoughts. "Maybe she works here or something. We'll have to wait and see."

They pulled up to the stables, parked, and bailed out of the little Volvo. A young woman with glasses and sandy hair in a low braid approached them with a smile.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asked pleasantly.

"Yeah, we're looking for Nicole?" replied Gerard.

"Sure, Nikki's in the stable," answered the woman. "If you follow me, I'll-"

"Gerard! Mikey! You made it!" came a happy call as Lilith came out of the stables and strode towards them. Her hair was in a tight ponytail and she wore low-heeled black riding boots, tan jodhpurs, a white T-shirt, and carried a black riding helmet under her arm. Her eyes were vivid blue again, as she was wearing her contacts. She hurried up to the group and hugged her old friends. Turning to the sandy-haired woman, she said, "Thanks Jess, I've got it now."

"Sure thing," replied Jess with a smile. "See ya later!" With that, she walked away towards the fields. Lilith smiled back at her friends.

"Oh guys, I can't begin to let you know just how happy I am to see you again!" she gushed, hugging each of them again. "I've missed you all so much!"

"I feel like I've missed something," said Bob.

"Don't worry, I'll fill you in later if you want to know the whole story," replied Lilith. "But now's not the time for all that heavy stuff. Come into the stables; there's someone I want you to meet."

"Your boyfriend?" teased Mikey playfully. Gerard shuffled his feet uncomfortably. Lilith smiled.

"Sort of." She led them into the stables where some of the many horses on the farm were resting or indulging in a bucket of oats. Lilith raised a special whistle that hung around her neck to her lips and gave a light blow. One horse in particular twitched his ears and, to the band's amazement, actually opened the gate to his stall and came towards them eagerly, nuzzling Lilith fondly when he reached her. Lilith smiled and hugged him gently.

"This is my baby, Ray Gun Jones," she said proudly. "My pride and joy. Isn't he gorgeous?" It was true, the stallion was beautiful: buckskin with black 'boots', black mane and tail, black velvety nose, and deep brown eyes.

"You named him after our old band?" asked Mikey. Lilith nodded.

"It was a way of reminding myself of the good times," she said. "Go ahead and pet him, if you like. He's very friendly."

Mikey stroked the horse's velvety nose lightly. "What kind is he?" he asked.

"Ex-racehorse, actually," Lilith replied. "He's a thoroughbred. He was retired because he punctured his hock and they thought he wouldn't run again. But he runs just fine now. Gave me a nasty scare, though, because I had to dig out a piece of the rusted metal that caused the injury and the poor horse saw the knife and started on me, slicing his jugular. Thankfully the vet wasn't too far away and she managed to get there in time to sedate poor Gun and stop the bleeding. I forgot that I was covered in horse blood and went to class after Gun was all patched up. Got some funny looks for that one." She chuckled and Gerard and Mikey smiled. That was the Lilith they remembered: devious, mischievous, and full of outrageous surprises, but good-natured and fun-loving all the same. Lilith smiled back at her friends, knowing what they were thinking.

Lilith turned and smiled at Bob. "I should introduce myself properly. My name is Lilith Corbin. I was Gerard and Mikey's neighbor when we were kids."

"Nice to meet you," said Bob. "I'm Bob Bryar." Lilith gave a sort of cross between a bow and a nod. She turned back to Ray Gun for a moment before looking back at her friends.

"You guys wouldn't want to go for a ride, would you?" she asked. "The woods around here are amazing, and most of the horses are very easy-going."

"Sure!" said Gerard before anyone else could respond.

"Uh, I don't know how to ride one of those," said Frank. Lilith laughed gently.

"I'll show you." She opened a trunk nearby and pulled out some spare jodhpurs, offering them to the guys. "You'll want to change into these, I think. Trust me. There's a spare room over there; I'll saddle some horses for you." The band accepted her offer and walked away. When they came back out, Lilith was saddling a chestnut mare with peaceful eyes. Ray Gun stood saddled and ready beside her. Jess had come back and was saddling a palomino nearby. The young women looked up and smiled as the guys came back in.

"Lookin' good fellas," laughed Jess. "This is Sylph, one of my horses. She's really mellow, so she'll be easy to ride. Frank should probably ride her, since he's new to this."

"And this is Martine," said Lilith. "She's another good horse for someone new to riding." The two saddled a few more horses, showed the guys how to mount (those who didn't know how), and passed out riding helmets. Lilith strapped her own to her head and swung up into Ray Gun's saddle with a practiced ease, grinning back at her friends. "Let's ride!" Turning Ray Gun to the barn door, Lilith clicked her tongue inside her cheek and the horse immediately responded. The band members' horses followed obediently. Lilith led them all across the field and into the woods, which were beautiful and deep.

"Where are we going?" asked Mikey.

"There's a beautiful spot deeper in the woods," said Lilith. "I'm taking you there. It shouldn't be too much farther."

"Good, 'cus this is really uncomfortable," said Frank. Lilith laughed.

"You get used to it." Shortly they arrived at a pool fed by a crystal-white waterfall and flowing into a river off through the trees. Lilith dismounted and the others followed suit. The horses grazed peaceably, drinking from the clear water. Lilith dropped down on the spongy moss, removing her helmet.

"You know, I wasn't entirely honest when I introduced myself before," she said as her friends sat around her. "My name really is Lilith Corbin, but now I go by Nicole Thomson." Looking at Gerard and Mikey, she added softly, "And I think I owe you an explanation. I did promise, after all. All right, here's what happened that awful night:

"For a long time I liked to play an online RPG called Evernight. It was the only place where I controlled others, they didn't control me. I enjoyed the reversal. I was logging in one day when a pop-up opened talking about a rescue program for abused kids. Curious I clicked it. I met a guy who could get me a new identity: new birth records, new name, new social security number, everything. I could literally buy a new life. It was too good to pass up.

"I stole the money I needed from my father, who never questioned it for some reason. I started harvesting my own blood to make a murder scene - four pints is the magic number. Framing my father for my own murder was my own idea, not my consultant's. I wanted him to pay for what he did to me. When it was all finished, I took what my online friend had procured for me, set up my own murder scene, and skipped town. I moved into an apartment, got a job, went to a community college I got along really well, actually. I just hated myself for not telling Gerard and Mikey the truth." She looked up at them with mournful eyes and said softly, "I am so sorry I didn't tell you, but the fewer people who knew the better. If you had known, your reactions might have given me away and then we'd have all been screwed. I hope you can forgive me."

The band just stared at Lilith for a time. What was there to say? How is someone supposed to respond to such a tale? Then again, how could they not forgive her? After all that she had been through, taking such an escape was her only remaining option.

Mikey was the first to move, reaching over and taking Lilith in his arms gently. "Lili, we're just glad to have you back. When Gerard and I saw the blood all over, we thought for sure you were dead. We thought you were dead for twelve years. All the plans we three made together, all our dreams and hopes we thought they had died with you. But you're back! You survived against all odds, just like always. How could we be anything but happy?" Lilith smiled gratefully and hugged Mikey back. She looked hopefully at Gerard, who smiled back.

"Lilith, look at you," he said. "You've got a college degree, a nice apartment in New York City, your own horse, great new friends this is everything we ever hoped for when we were kids. We always dreamed about escaping, and you did it. You got away and made something of yourself. True, I wish we could have known about it back then. But I'm just glad that we've got you back again. We do, don't we?" he added.

Lilith laughed freely. "Of course you do, you silly ass." Gerard grinned, remembering how Lilith, parodying Tinkerbell, had always called him that after he played Peter Pan in school. Lilith herself had been Wendy.

Gerard hugged Lilith tightly. "We're not gonna let you go again," he promised. Pulling away gently, but still holding her arms lightly, he asked, "Why don't you come with us? Join the band. You still play keyboards, right? We could use you, don't you think, guys?" He glanced back at the rest of the group, who, though still a little shell-shocked from Lilith's grand revelation, all nodded in agreement. Gerard grinned and looked back at Lilith. "So whaddaya say? You want to be a part of My Chemical Romance?"

Lilith just stared at her old friend for a moment, hardly daring to believe it was true. Slowly a smiled spread across her lips, breaking into a wide grin. "I'd love to!"

TO BE CONTINUED